As a blogger, there are times when you’ve just got to put something down. This seems an awful lot like going against my conviction that I only post when there’s something to post about. I’ve been ill for over 4 weeks now, and while I suppose I’m the best I’ve been during that time, I am still not entirely better. But with the flu most recently in my rearview, I’m perfectly content to just have a cough and congestion.

Lately we’ve been thinking more and more about Christmas; talking about a tree, watching kids make their lists, and waiting for Thanksgiving Day when 98.1FM turns to all Christmas music all the time, until the New Year. I love Christmas music.

Since we’ve been married, we’ve bought a real Christmas tree each year. But this year we’re on the hunt for a nice quality prelit tree. I know, its not the same and some might argue that going “fake” is nothing but lame but when we moved to our new house, we discovered that the best spot for our Christmas tree is flanked with two vents in the floor. So warm, dry air blew onto our real Christmas tree and dried it out in no time, despite my best watering/feeding efforts. It didn’t take long and needles were jumping off that tree just by looking at it. Sad. What I’ll miss most is the smell. And the sap on my hands that never wears off. What I WON’T miss is the 1,000 laps around the tree, stringing lights. Even moving at such a slow, methodical pace I’d still get dizzy and fall down.

And I won’t miss barking at my kids to “Would you just WAIT!” when they’d ask if they can start putting ornaments on the tree yet. Everybody knows that you put the lights on and then the ornaments. That is of course, unless you’re also going with the silver pearls motif…again.
Only AFTER the lights were strung would we unleash the kids to start the ornament hangings. But with a prelit tree, that wait will theoretically be much shorter.

Yes, I love Christmas. I love all the traditions. One of which is the showing of “A Christmas Story” movie. Christmas lends itself to great movies and to me, that one is just about the best. Everyone remembers where they were when they first heard the words “Fa Rah-Rah, Rah-Rah…Rah Rah, Rah, Rah!” And even if you’ve never seen the movie, you’ve probably been told, “You’ll shoot your eye out!” And no joke, put some dark rim glasses on my oldest son and he’s instantly Ralphie. I’m thinking about getting him some pink bunny pajamas for Christmas.

But I suppose as cliche’ as it is, I’d have to say that my all-time favorite movie will always be “It’s a Wondeful Life”. I can quote the movie word for word, from Sam Wainwright’s “Hee-haw” to Clarence’s “Your mouth’s not bleeding either, George” to George’s (to Mr. Potter), “Why, in the whole vast configuration of things, I’d say you were nothing but a scurvy little spider!” And I still get choked up when Mary and George, after looking all over town for each other, finally meet back at home, her running up the stairs, and him running down when they meet on the landing in a flurry of hugs and kisses, just before their world is about to change in the crowded livingroom downstairs. Yes, in my book “It’s a Wonderful Life” takes the cake as the best movie ever.

So, here I am, sitting mid-November at the cusp of a wonderful Christmas season, ready to welcome family to town, ready to crank up the radio–blaring Christmas hits, ready to check off (a few of) the things on my kids’ lists, ready to get that Christmas-time feeling, and most of all ready to usher in the season when the world (and time itself) was forever altered by the birth of a baby in a quiet manger where no one noticed. I’m ready.

As I’m (hopefully) wrapping up the flu thing, I’m at home alone on a Sunday morning; quite the peculiar situation for me. So, I’ve been worshipping the Lord today in various ways. Here’s one song I really enjoyed expressing to the Lord this morning.

Having the flu is a terrible thing. As I type, I’m sitting up in bed on day 3; the day I’ve done the most sitting up yet. This afternoon I realized that I haven’t been out of my house since Thursday morning, nor out of my bedroom for the previous 24 hours. It’s weird when parts of your house seem foreign and unfamiliar.

But I must confess that a deep and priceless blessing has come from all this. I have been reminded just how profoundly and sincerely I am loved by my wife and kids. Anyone who knows me already knows that I already knew I had the best wife in the world (no offense to all the other wives out there). With tenderness, patience, compassion, and sacrifice, she has done above and beyond all she can do to bring me comfort through this illness. Running to the store to grab whatever the latest need is, bringing me a small stockpile of movies, and keeping the medication coming right on schedule. What a woman.

Each of my kids as well have in their own individual way shared their concern and sorrow at my sickness. With apologies as simple as “I’m sorry you’re sick, Daddy.” to lots of tears being cried from concern for my health, to one amazing scene I keep playing in my mind. Yesterday while at school, my oldest son was given a brownie by a friend at lunchtime. But instead of eating the brownie (which he loves), he decided to instead save it and bring it home to me as a get well gift.

That is how a 9-year-old boy expresses love in the deepest way he can: brownie forfeiture.

So, while this flu is still the flu, and has come after 4 weeks (and counting) of sinus infection, I lay in this bed with a box of tissues to the left of me, a glass of OJ to the right of me, feeling pretty much like the most loved guy on earth.

While the past few episodes have been less than, I have in the past enjoyed “The Office” and I’d have to put the character “Dwight Shrute” among my favorites. The actor that plays Dwight is Rainn Wilson, and a few weeks ago I learned about a side project that he has undertaken. In an effort to get a widespread dialogue about religion/G(g)od/spirituality/life’s big questions going, he created a website called “Soul Pancake”. I must admit that at first I was excited and quickly became enthralled by this seemingly vast wonderland of cerebral and intellectual interplay, all under the umbrella of spiritual matters. I certainly didn’t expect it to be a “Christian” site, but I do enjoy interacting with those of other beliefs; even though who oppose my beliefs. I guess I consider it a learning experience.

I scanned the pages upon pages of questions, ranging from “Who is God?” to issues of homosexuality, tolerance, origins, evil, Jesus, and a myriad of other questions–all within a forum where anyone can say anything with one simple rule guiding them: “Speak your mind–but don’t hit below the belt” as the site instructs. With excitement I dove in head first.

I read countless questions and discussion starters thoughtfully. I posted comments on many of them, and found others…well…either pointless or simply uninteresting. If I didn’t have anything intellegent to contribute, I wouldn’t contribute anything.

While I certainly admire the endeavor Mr. Wilson has taken on, my nagging question is “What’s the point?” Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate the opportunity to read, understand, and respond to those of differing views than mine. I really do. But after a fair portion of time given to the site, I have come back to a conviction that this site has only served to fortify. That is: When everyone is right, no one is right. In other words, there simply isn’t a reconciliation between truth and opposites. The opposing views “There is a God.” and “There isn’t a God.” can’t by definition be true simultaneously. To think for a second that we can lull ourselves into a world where we’re all right, and yet not be completely delusional is a mistake of catastrophic proportions.

And the merry-go-round that the site seems to be brings me to the question, “What do we have against having a point?” The Soul Pancake site is a site worthy of a visit (to those mature and inclined), but its not a good destination if you’re looking for a destination at all. There are no landing strips, no conclusions, no solidity to stand on. Its a sea of opinion where all are respected, all are valid, all are true, and therefore all are ultimately pointless.

I just saw a video that will hopefully make you laugh, but also give you a glimpse into the life of a youth pastor. What a life.
I laughed all the way through this, because I kid you not, 95% of the things in this video have happened to me!

Here’s the deal. My sinus infection causes drainage (one of my newest least favorite words) into my throat. Therefore, my throat is irritated and I end up coughing a lot, trying in vain to expel whatever it is. But I’m now on day 2 of antibiotics. So, the infection should clear up soon, and the throat issue should follow. Here’s hoping.

As a result, I’ve been coughing a lot lately. I’m not trying to make something out of nothing, but if you really consider it, coughing is a pretty amazing thing. Its your body’s independent decision at an intentional attempt to fix a problem. And believe me, its quite involuntary. In fact, I’ve found myself trying NOT to cough, depending on my surroundings…but to no avail. When your body wants to cough, its gonna cough. I’m just sorry for those around me who have to listen to it.
Case in point: I went to the doctor yesterday. When I approached the front door, there was a table set up with a warning sign that clearly said that if you were experiencing any of the following symptoms (like aches, sneezing, congestion, runny nose, coughing, fever, etc.) you had to put on a mask before entering. Since I was in fact displaying a few of those symptoms, I followed orders and put on my mask.

I opened the door and walked in the doctor’s office waiting room only to find that I was the only one wearing a mask. Awkward. I suddenly felt like….I don’t know…..just think of something that makes you feel weird. The Elephant Man, maybe. That’s how I felt. I looked around the room at the eyes looking at me, wondering what they were thinking.

And as I was sitting there waiting, trying to occupy my mind with non-loatheful thoughts, I could feel that little tickle in my throat. Oh no. Not now. Not here. Not in front of these people who already have such disdain for my presence in their otherwise healthy air space. And out it came, a loud and boisterous cough. I covered my mouth, though now that I think about it, that was quite redundant, given my not-so-fashionable facewear.

Thankfully it wasn’t long before my name was called and I headed into the inner sanctum—where the magic happens. Halfway through my visit with the doctor, she told me that I could take my mask off; I indeed didn’t have the flu. While it wasn’t a surprise, it was a nice affirmation. She handed me my prescription and out I went, back toward the waiting room. But not before putting my mask back on. I’m not sure why I put it back on. I guess I’m just a nice guy who doesn’t want to make people think they’re breathing the same air as the Elephant Man.

Technology is an amazing thing. While I think it has irreparably damaged us as a people, it also has done so much good, if not interesting things. For example you’re reading this on a screen. For another example, it has brought people from my past back into reach. And for those who knew me then and see me now, I’d suspect that there’s quite a chasm between what might seem like 2 different people. Me then, and me now.

And for that reason, I want to assure you that I know precisely who and what I am.

From my perspective, I am a scoundrel attaining to holiness, driven by a love for Jesus.
From God’s perspective, I’m clothed in holiness; clothes which I soil by the mess of the mistakes I make each day. I am fully forgiven and that forgiveness does not give me license for more mistakes, but only drives me more toward a life that pleases God.

It sounds crazy, and maybe makes no sense. But I let go of things making sense a long time ago. But when you love and serve a God who would do such a nonsensical thing as allow His blameless Son to take your death for you….well, things making sense to us doesn’t rank too high on the scale of things that God is overly concerned with.

Yep, I know exactly who I am.
I humbly confess that I’m as screwed up as anyone else.
I boldly confess that left to my own devices, only completely selfish living would be the result.
And I fully take advantage of the offer God gives: forgiveness–full and free and eternal.
NOT because I deserve it, but because to Him,
somehow I’m worth it.

Don’t think I don’t know how crazy that sounds.
Don’t think I don’t know how crazy that is.