Just in case anyone caught my mention in my obnoxiously long post a couple days ago about my unexplained swollen nose, I thought perhaps an illustration might help….

I’m thankful that today it seems to be subsiding. But still, I have no clue what happened to it that it would have swollen like that. Weird. A question for the ages, I guess.

In a related piece of my history, I had my nose broken in high school. Imagine a freshman Jerry Varner, skinny as a stick and under the normal intimidation of being a freshman in high school. Tommy Reid was one of our basketball team’s star players and we were in the same gym class. It was the section of the semester where we learned basketball, and in a gym class game, I foolishly agreed to play zone defense, only seconds after learning what zone defense was. So, Tommy Reid enters my zone, jumps for a rebound, and true to Tommy Reid form, came down with the ball with elbows flailing. One of the elbows came around and landed squarely on the bridge of my nose. For the next few days, I wore a metal “I” on my face to hold my newly reset nose in place. My almost immediate and unwelcomed nickname? Robo-Nose.

For the record, Tommy Reid felt really bad about it and was really nice to me.

Now, after reading/digesting/cogitating on this one, you might land somewhere different than where I did. And I just want to acknowledge that that’s okay. I think anyone with Jesus in their heart and a love relationship with Him goes to heaven—no matter what they think about the issue of Saddleback’s recent small group promo postcards.

Take a second, and look them over by clicking here. And if you’ve got the stomach for it, read the comments that follow the postcards. At this writing, there were 33 comments so far.

The comments were a range of reactions, but one thing was clear: not one person who was responding/reacting to the postcards was a non-Christian. What I mean by that is, every one of them was coming from a “biblical” perspective, citing Scripture to back up their stance. Fair enough.

And while I have commented in Josh’s blog before, I decided to steer clear of commenting on that one. Instead, I chose to bring my thoughts to my own blog and in doing so, try to link you to me, me to you, you to it, and it to us.

First off, Saddleback is a big church. I’ve been there. It’s big. It’s big in just about every visible sense. Lots of people, lots of building, lots of staff, lots of resources, lots of guts. It’s big. Now, big isn’t necessarily good. The Third Reich was big and look what it accomplished. Auschwitz was big. So, don’t think that I think that big is necessarily healthy or even good. But let’s just acknowledge the fact that Saddleback is big. Rick Warren is big. Doug Fields is big. Josh Griffin is big. Purpose-Driven Youth Ministry is big. Purpose-Driven Life is big. It’s all very big.

And in the bigness, the leadership and/or creators of the postcards on Josh Griffin’s blog have a certain amount of bravado in which they operate. I’m not sure bravado is the right word, but it sounds good in my head, so I’m using it. Honestly, what I mean is that when you’re that big and prominent, you have to know (and they do) that most everyone is watching. And I’d also like to point out that edgy promos such as the small group postcards have likely added to their bigness. In a word, Saddleback is an envelope pusher. Love that or hate it–its true. They are innovative, forward-thinking, and even (dare I say) progressive. But from what I’ve seen, not progressive in the way that word has been used; not in a way that is rocking the boat for the sake of rocking the boat. But instead, progressive in a way that is willing to pass or fail, but no matter what, is going to try.

So, if you have read or scanned the comments in the comment section below the small group promo postcards, there are some that are scathing, and some that are gentle, and some that are diplomatic. But I’d like to draw us back to the point that every person who comments proports to be speaking the truth in love for the most part. Some comments even quite devoid of love all together are touting that they are speaking the truth in love. Those are the comments I found most dismissable, since they seem to be authored by self-sanctioned rock-throwers. It’d be laughable if it weren’t so sad.

We’ll give an account of our actions–every one of us–to God and I wonder if we might hear something like, “I sent you out into the world to love all people into my arms. Instead, you argued over postcards.” Now, I know I’m leaning a little toward overdrama here, but if we as followers of Christ can be more passionate about loving people back into the arms of Christ than we are about correcting each other…well, I’m pretty sure we’d be better off.

And I guess some reading this would throw a yellow flag and say, “Hold it right there, Varner. We’ve got to call sin what it is!” I agree with that, but I honestly can’t find anything in those postcards that constitute “sin”. Off-color? Maybe. Distasteful? To some. Out of line? It’s debatable.

My question I guess is: #1: Did the postcards work? Did they have the desired outcome? Now, don’t get me wrong; I’m not a “by any means necessary” kind of pastor. I feel like I have a good grasp on boundaries. I’m not saying let’s offer teens free pot for coming to our worship services. But since these postcards are debatable in their appropriateness (evidenced by the many comments), can we simply call the issue one of those “non-essentials” and move on?

After all, Saddleback (in sending these postcards) has stayed quite true to its form: edgy, gutsy, and (usually) successful in its endeavors. But as one who has heard both Rick Warren and Doug Fields speak, they speak more about their own failures than their successes. This tells me 2 things: they’re relatable and they’re human.

For the record, when I first saw the postcards (especially the last one), I laughed. I thought they were funny, clever, and I wasn’t offended by them. Personally, I don’t think they’d be right for MY ministry context, and so I wouldn’t use them, but again–this is Saddleback we’re talking about. Not that they get any special treatment from God, you’ve just got to understand that this is many times the “envelope-pushing” they do. That’s my opinion and I totally respect every person who formulates their own opinion, especially those who try and use Scripture as their guide.

This is just a long post, but I can’t apologize. If you’re still reading (and there’s no gun to your head) then you obviously don’t mind. If you’re not still reading, then I don’t even have to finish this sentence.

We had a great afternoon at Maymont Park today.

I know hundreds of thousands of people had a sleepless night last night; tossing and turning over what choice we made for our afternoon activity yesterday….drumroll, please……

We chose Inflation Nation! And today, we’re actually moments away from our departure to Maymont Park and I hope to post pics from that later.

And now for the apology:
The post right below this one is obnoxiously long. Sorry to anyone who fell asleep in the middle of it. My friend Scott Marshall once told me that the first rule of blogging is to keep it brief, or people won’t read. Here’s to you, Marshall. I miss you.

(He’s not dead, just in Missouri.)

To get to Scott’s blog, see the sidebar of my blog.

I’m on vacation this week….sort of. Technically, I’ve taken time off from the office and ministry-related responsibilities….kind of. But we haven’t actually gone anywhere like out of town or anything. It’s what has become known as a “staycation”. And that’s fine with me. Sometimes the rigors of travel can have their own built-in tensions. So, this time I’m just fine with laying low.

One idea that we had was to go camping overnight. Someplace relatively close that could offer some recreational options like biking, hiking, and other outdoorsy stuff. However, the last time we went camping as a family, my wife was pregnant with our youngest, Hudson. And the tent was quite full, as I remember, even without him. So going camping would necessitate buying a new tent that would house us. Ordinarily I’d be perfect fine with going tent shopping. I’m not much of a shopper unless we’re going big. And since we never go big, I’m not much of a shopper.

I watered my lawn this morning. Uninteresting you say? “So what?”, you ask? Are you yawning with excitement over what slight detail I may have left out?

Well, would it interest you to know that my lawn didn’t need watering? In fact it’s been raining quite a bit here and my lawn was already saturated. And when I say saturated I mean swishy-swampy saturated. Have I piqued your interest in my story yet? No?

What if I told you that I watered my lawn without a hose? How about now? Want to know more? I mean how does one water one’s lawn without so much as a hose? Are your ears perked up yet? Not yet? Boy, you’re a tough nut to crack.

What if I told you that I watered my lawn with hot water? Is this some new tip I picked up from that PBS gardening show? I mean who waters their lawn with hot water? Want to know more? Even a little?

And what if I told you that I watered my lawn while I slept? Would you call me the most prolific gardener you’d ever heard of? I mean who waters their lawn while they’re sleeping? What kind of lawn savant would I have to be to have that kind of ability?

Well, I’ll tell you what kind of savant I am. I’m the kind that installs a “tankless” hot water heater in his attached shed and then wakes up to a failed connection in the hot water pipe so that for probably hours while I slept hot water poured out of the pipe, into the shed, and out into my yard. THAT’S what kind of savant I am. Impressive, huh?

I awoke this morning at 6:30ish and grabbed my towel and headed to the shower. I turned the knob and *drip*, *drip*, *drip*. And I heard the gentle hum of a tankless hot water heater, heating water for an undeserving lawn.

So, I sprung into action like some type of crazed, aquatic super hero; adjustable wrench in hand, out the back door, to the shed, surveyed the liquid carnage, and to the front yard to the main water shut-off valve.

And thanks to a great friend whom I called almost immediately, the situation was under control in less than an hour.

And I don’t mean to “spiritualize” everything, but after showering and getting into my day, I got to thinking.

And my thinking led me pretty quickly to a simple and yet for me, probing question: “Who needs me?”

As wonderful as that hot water was, the lawn didn’t need it at all. Neither did the concrete floor of my shed. The hot water was needed in the shower; and yet, that seemed to be the only place it wasn’t present.

And quite honestly, the question is baffling to me. And for better or for worse, I can’t come up with an answer. Now, don’t get me wrong. There are people who might be reading this right now and screaming at the screen, “I need you, Jerry!” My wife is the first person who comes to mind. And my kids might say that they need me. But honestly, besides them–I’m really not a commodity to anyone. I don’t mean to say that I’m not loved or don’t feel loved–on the contrary, I feel quite supported and embraced by my boss, my fellow pastors, my church body, and even some of my neighbors. But I guess the question for me digs deeper than that.

Jesus shocked people a lot. But there is really only one glaring recorded instance when the shock was too great for some people to continue to follow Him. He has said some pretty off-the-wall things about Himself, like being living bread that should be eaten. Pretty crazy, huh? And we’re told that from that point on many turned from Him and stopped following. But the part of the story that touches my life is when Jesus turns to the remaining disciples and says, “Are you going to leave me, too?” Peter said to Jesus, “Where would we go?” Peter wasn’t asking for suggestions. His question answered Jesus’ question clearly. Peter continued, “You have the words of life.” Peter was saying, “Jesus, I’m all in. I believe who You are and I’m with You.” In short, Peter needed Jesus. And I imagine there was a confidence in Peter’s voice, and yet a desperation as well. A desperation that you would have when you are standing on the only hope you have left. You’re confident in that hope, but after all, it is still the only hope left.

So, who needs me? If I click “Publish Post” on the screen and at that moment God decides that my life is done, I’d want every person I know and love to need Jesus the way Peter confessed to. I’d want everyone to cling to Christ as the only hope they have, but the only One they need.

Yesterday, I sat in a luncheon with about 20-25 other youth pastors and various Christian community types of people. There were some YWAM (Youth With A Mission) people there, some 88.1 FM radio voices there, and people like that. I was invited by Dr. James Anderson, who is quickly becoming one of my heroes.

We spent some time eating (of course) and chatting, and then singing, and then praying. The main thrust of the sharing and the praying was toward the issue of unity in the body of Christ in the Richmond area. Passionate prayers were uttered, calling out to God for unity among His people, so that revival and the mighty movement of His Spirit would be evident in our ministries to the place God has called us and placed us. Good stuff.

Now, don’t think I’m being egotistical. But as we prayed together, I was thinking, (did you ever think about something when someone else is praying?) “I’m the answer to these prayers.”

Why would I be so big-headed about my own importance? Simple. Because Jesus told me to. Read it for yourself:

“The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one;…”

This statement was spoken by Jesus in what we know as “the high priestly prayer”. Jesus was speaking to God the Father about His disciples then and His disciples now.

So, while its all well and good for us to pray for unity, I really believe that there are some prayers that we’ve just got to realize the power that God has given us, and the expectation that God has put upon us to live out the answer to that prayer!

What would happen if I went to that luncheon, participated whole-heartedly in that prayer time and sharing time, and then walked out the door, never to reach out, never to do my part, never to strive for unity with those fellow pastors?

If one of you says to him, “Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?”

This verse, found in James 2:16 clearly shows us that while prayer is so vital to our spiritual lives, we must understand the expectations that God has for us to live out His love to those around us–EVERYONE around us. Whether they are rich or poor, liked or unliked, right or wrong, white or black, Christian or not.

So, its true: I’M the answer to my own prayer in this instance. And not just me, but YOU are too.