It’s a word we use to describe being between there and here, or here and there, or now and later.  My blog has been in “limbo” for quite a while.  And as I relaunch this puppy, I’m making a few commitments to myself and to you, the readers (whom I love, even if it is just my Mom):

1. Positivitude:  Sometimes my heart gripes.  As a pastor who’s been around the block more than twice, I’ve found that my default setting can easily slip into thoughts like “why are people lame enough to choose ________ over coming to worship?”, “when is _________ going to get their act together and just turn it all over to God already?”, and “I think the teens I serve and lead couldn’t look more disinterested in Jesus than they do.”  So, I’m sincerely trying to bridle my mind and steer it in a direction that seeks and celebrates the good, the beautiful, the positive. 

2.  Interconnectability:  Another thing I’d love my blog to be is more interconnected with other quality blogs.  I want to point you to good places to read good things that cause you think good thoughts.  I think that’d be good.  And ever since that “Prayer of Jabez” craze swept through Christendom years ago, I don’t feel guilty about praying for “expanded territory”.   So, you can check out my “blogroll” to the right and click one of those.  I hope to grow that blogroll more, but only with what I consider “quality” blogs. If you know of a quality blog (even if its yours!) let me know in the comment section. I’ll check it out and if its makes the cut, I’ll add it to my blogroll.

3.  Relatability: I love to read comments people put on my blog posts.  And while its true that my #1 commentor is my own Dad, I’d love to read what YOU think about something I’ve written.  Did it help you? Did it enrage you?  Did it confuse you? Do you disagree?  Can you add to it?  Write your thoughts and tell me what YOU think!

So, here’s hoping that my state of limbo will end soon.  And that I’ll get back to a rhythm of posting and reap the benefits that come along with it!

I’ve been dealing with a jacked up back for the past 4 weeks or so.  Its been more than frustrating because normally I’m the picture of health.  “Fit as a fiddle” as they say.  But this weekend, I just couldn’t take it anymore.  So I got an appointment with the doc for Monday.  He did x-rays, ran some tests, yada yada, and gave me some drugs.  3 different pills.  One to relax the muscles, one to soothe the pain, and one just for fun I guess.

So, I’ve been doing better the last couple days, thanks to the meds and I actually began to see a light at the end of the tunnel.  That is, until I needed ketchup with my fries.

We were at McDonald’s for dinner last night and I’m the kind of guy who likes a bit of ketchup with his fries (though I prefer mayo, but that’s another story entirely), so I got up and walked my bad back self over to the ketchup dispenser, grabbed a small ketchup cup and pushed down on the lever that dispenses the ketchup. Well, there must have been an air pocket in the line because a couple seconds after it started coming out, it suddenly sputtered.  That sputter caused me to shutter (I know, real manly right?) and in that instant I jerked with fright and consequently tweeked my back again.

For the love of everything good and decent, I just wanted some ketchup!

It’s been said that “God is less often in the momentous and more often in the moment.”

I think that kicked the door to my stale blog in. It’s been way too long since I’ve written anything. And I think I just realized why: I’m waiting for the momentous, and missing the moments. Well, not anymore.

I’m writing today because quite honestly, I’m sick of not writing. This won’t be anything momentous; it’s a collection of moments from the past week or so. Feel free to bail.

I should say here that I’m planning on moving this blog. No offense to blogspot; we’ve been great partners and they’ve hosted me quite nicely for lo these many years. But I think it’s time to move on. I’m planning on going with a .com in the near future, as opposed to a blahblah.blahblah.com. We’ll see.

Months ago, one of the neighbor kids was in our front yard playing and kicked a soccer ball right at our front porch. The ball broke right through a piece of our railing spindles that go around our porch. It would have been less frustrating if I was told it happened instead of simply finding out myself. Then, the day after I finally get the spindles fixed, guess who was back in my front yard, and guess who had his soccer ball again, and guess who kicked it through the same spindles for a second time.

Guess who almost lost his cool and wanted to use the kid’s head as a soccer ball?

Well, apply that story to my youngest daughter’s eye. Yesterday a group of neighborhood kids were playing kickball in our backyard and Macy took a line drive right to her eye. She woke up this morning with a bit of a shiner. And just minutes ago, guess who walked in holding her OTHER eye?

Some times you’ve just got to laugh at the Law of Probability.
(And I love the fact that my yard is where the neighborhood comes to play kickball.)

In other news, I’m on day two of a long journey back to a healthy back. I’m on 3 meds. One of which has to be taken with another med, which means actually 4 meds are coursing through my veins. I’m typing most of this with my eyes closed so I can get some rest. These pills knock me out. When I went to the doctor yesterday, I’m fairly certain I was the only one without a walker. Made me feel young.

The other day at breakfast, my youngest son told us exactly how he’s going to react to his birthday presents. His birthday is 4 months away. I love that he’s already practicing his facial expressions and gratitude. I can learn a lot from that. Why wait to watch God work before being thankful that He does? And why wait until He asks before saying “Yes!” And why wait until Sunday to worship Him?

Last Sunday, I spoke to a room full of teenagers as we wrapped up a 3-week series called “Who is God?” Here’s how the weeks broke down:
Week 1: God is knowable and eternal.
Week 2: God is holy and just.
Week 3: God is loving and gracious.
Week 3 was my favorite message because it centered on the story of the prodigal son that Jesus told in Luke 15. It’s a mind-blowing story when you understand all the nuances and tidbits that are found in it. Even if you don’t, it’s an amazing picture of God’s faithfulness, patience, and grace.

I’ve also just read a book called “The Truth About You”. It’s not a Christian book per se, but it is one that I found quite interesting and one that I am enjoying cogitating on and applying to my own life. The author made the contention that strengths aren’t necessarily what you’re good at, and likewise weaknesses aren’t necessarily what you’re bad at either. Strengths are things that make you feel stronger, more alive, and joy-filled and by contrast weaknesses are things that make you feel drained, bored, and weak. I’m in the process (assigned) of carrying a small pocket-sized memo pad in my pocket and I’m writing down anything that I can clearly identify as a “strength”. These are things I look forward to before they happen, enjoy doing, and feel stronger after I’ve done them. Pretty interesting stuff so far.

Well, after reading this post, maybe I should stick with the momentous. This moment stuff is pretty lame.

Until next time, thanks for stopping by.

I haven’t written anything in a while and I’m very aware of that. I’ve been busy/without subject matter to write about, really. I vowed when I started this blog that I’d write when I had something to write about. That may have been the death nail for the blog as far as keeping consistent readers. After all, when I go to a blog and see it stale, I almost instantly drop it from my blog-reading radar. And so I’d certainly expect others to do the same to this one.

So, just a quick note to say that I know I’ve been lacking in the consistent writing department, that I’m sorry, and that I have several blog posts in the works. And here’s hoping that if you’re reading this, you’ll keep me on your list of blogs you enjoy reading. I really do plan on getting back into a rhythm. There’s been too much going on in my mind not to.

Thanks for visiting.

Jerry

I was just cleaning out some stuff and came across a poem I wrote years ago, probably around Easter. It’s titled “It was I.”

It was I who waved the palm branch and shouted
It was I who welcomed Him to town.
It was I who laughed and celebrated.
It was I who led Him around.

It was I who believed the rumors,
It was I who bought the lie.
It was I who joined the others,
It was I who wanted Him to die.

It was I who went to the garden,
It was I who arrested Him there.
It was I who bound and beat Him,
It was I who pulled out His hair.

It was I who wanted Barabbas freed.
It was I who condemned Him to die.
It was I who washed my hands in innocence.
It was I who screamed “Crucify!”

It was I who put the blindfold on Him,
It was I who shouted, “Prophecy!”
It was I who laughed at His agony.
It was I who spit in His eye.

It was I who kicked and whipped Him,
It was I who poured on the pain.
It was I who put the cross on His shoulders.
It was I who laughed at His shame.

It was I who laid Him out on the cross.
It was I who tied Him down.
It was I who hammered the spikes in His wrists.
It was I who gave Him the thorny crown.

It was I who hoisted the cross toward the sky.
It was I who heard His flesh rip.
It was I who smiled at a job well done.
It was I who gave Him the last whip.

It was I who pierced His raw and bleeding side.
It was I who watched the blood flow.
It was I who saw His head fall in death.
It was I who didn’t know

That it was I would put the King on the cross,
It was I who caused His death.
But it wasn’t the whip, the spear, or the cross
That took away Jesus’ last breath.

It was the sin in my heart that put Him there,
It was the things I’ve done that are wrong.
It was the love of the Father and the life of the Son,
It was the love for me that’s so strong.

So now I see it, now I understand
That His death wasn’t about the tree.
It’s about bringing the children back to the Father,
It’s all about God’s love for me.

It is I who now stands forgiven and whole,
It is I who walks with the Lord.
But it is He who won my battle over sin,
With a cross, not with a sword.

It is I who stands at the gaping mouth
Of the tomb that once held Him there.
And now it is I who will serve my Risen Lord
Until I meet Him in the air!

–Jerry Varner

It’s Easter Sunday morning at 6:04 a.m. Sunrise is about 45 minutes away. I’m up so early by mistake, but I’m glad to be up early by mistake on such a day as this. I suppose that the women who were going to Jesus’ tomb this morning would have been up by now, gathering their spices, wrapping their cloaks and blankets for warmth against the brisk morning air of Jerusalem, and wiping away the tears that are still forming in the corners of their eyes; eyes that have seen so much over the past 72 hours. Eyes that witnessed it all. Eyes that are wearing, swollen, and tender from weeping.

With their burial spices and other items they were taking along to the tomb, they walked and made their way in the dim early morning light. I imagine they spoke very little, if at all to each other as they walked.

What astounds me though it shouldn’t is that they were coming to the tomb to further prepare Jesus’ body for death, even while He was revealing to the world the way to life. That their mood and tone was somber, while the occasion called for anything but! That despite Jesus repeatedly telling them exactly what was going to happen, they were acting as if none of it was possible and that this visit would truly be a time for them to anoint His body with more spices and oils.

But when they arrived at the tomb, they were likely the first human eyes to take in the sight of an open tomb; no longer sealed, no longer guarded, and no longer occupied by a dead man’s body! What must their minds have been doing inside their skulls at that moment? How could their humanness absorb and make sense of this supernatural event? God was again prepared to meet humanity at its time of need (this time for explanation) and posted an angel at the tomb to tell the women the good news: “Why do you look for the living among the dead?!? Jesus is ALIVE! He’s not here! He has RISEN just as He said He would! Now go and tell His disciples!”

What ever happened to those burial spices and oils? I love to imagine the sound of them hitting the ground and being trampled underfoot by those running to see the empty tomb.

When the women returned to tell the men, they didn’t believe them at first. Can you believe that they didn’t believe?!? “Ladies, please don’t interrupt our grieving with your nonsense. We’re trying to hold a funeral here. I mean, have some respect for the dead.” But they persisted and finally Peter and John take off running toward the tomb. Have you ever noticed that in John’s gospel, he makes sure to mention who won the foot race to the tomb? Men and their egos, right?

So, John won the race to the tomb, but tenacious Peter actually entered the tomb first. And there they saw Jesus’ burial cloths lying there in a heap. I love that those were left there. What a symbol of power, of victory, of “I won’t be needing those any more!” And the cloth that wrapped Jesus’ head was folded neatly separate from the other cloths. As a workman lays a folded rag on a workpiece indicating its completion, so Jesus also sent yet another message with this gesture that announced, “I’m done with what I came to do. The work is complete!”

So, what did the disciples do from there? Did they run and tell anyone they could find? Did they call a meeting in the synagogue to spread the word? Did they even tell anybody? Nope. They went back to the room they were in, and locked the door out of fear. Are you kidding me?!? I mean, an angel visits, the tomb is empty, the cloths are there, the guards are gone, and they go back to their hiding place. As humans, we’re thick-headed aren’t we? And we’re no different today. In our “enlightened” 21st century state, we’re actually as stubborn and hard-headed as the 1st century disciples. Thankfully, we serve a God who is just as patient now as He was then.

So the men run off back to the upper room, but the women stay at the tomb. This was undoubtedly because as women, they weren’t satisfied just having the information they had. They wanted details! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve shared with my wife some conversation I had with someone and she begins to ask questions, probing for more information. And inevitably, she says those 3 words that men for ages have heard from their wives: “You didn’t ask?!?” Nope, but digging for the dirt just isn’t the guys’ thing. But true to form, these women wanted answers!

And they were rewarded for their persistence. After the men had gone, Mary stooped to look into the same tomb they had just been in and now there were 2 angels sitting in there. They asked her why she was crying and she told them, “They’ve taken my Lord away and I don’t know where they put him.” At that moment, we have the first recorded details of a human being (Mary) setting eyes on the risen Jesus. She turns to look at Him, perhaps with the morning sunrise brightening the scene so that she can see the face of Jesus her Lord!

And she mistakes Him for the gardener.

Not only that, but she talks to “the gardener” and asks Him where Jesus is! Does it get any better than this? Doesn’t Jesus ever roll His eyes even once, and mutter under His breath, “Come ON–what is wrong with you people!?! I’m standing right here!” No, He consistently, faithfully, and undeniably revealed Himself as exactly who He had stated for years that He was–the Messiah! The Lord! The Son of God! The Redeemer! The Lamb of God! The Promised One! The Alpha and Omega! The Way, the Truth, and the LIFE!

While there are many through the ages that have claimed deity, only Jesus backed it up by countless recorded and unrecorded miracles. Only Jesus backed it up by fulfilling hundreds of prophecies that were spoken hundreds of years before His birth. Only Jesus backed it up by willingly laying down His life as the ultimate and final sacrifice for my sins and yours. And only Jesus backed it up by emerging from the tomb victorious over death, hell, and the grave!

Praise the Risen Jesus! He’s ALIVE!!!

*As I close this post, it is now sunrise–time to begin the official celebration of the greatest day in history–the day that all of creation was bought back by its Creator!

When did I decide that safe was good?
It may have been around the first time I got hurt.

I’m prone to forget that today is part of my life. It sounds so insane, and even sad but its true. I don’t mean it to sound sad. I’m not sad. In fact if you know me, I’d hope I’m ranked among one of the happiest people you know. So don’t get the idea that I’m some Eeyore moping around. It’s just that I generally don’t look at “today” as part of the package of days that I’m living.

This morning after getting up, getting the kids ready for school, seeing them off, and kissing my wife goodbye I drove to Dunkin’ Donuts, walked in, picked out a new travel mug (I lost mine months ago), took a sip, smiled, drove to the gas station, put my budgeted $25 of gas in the tank for the week, got back in my car, drove to my office, unpacked my laptop, walked to the conference room, joined the rest of our pastors and staff for morning prayer, sent some emails, edited some video, did some work, shot a video, accomplished some tasks on my list, got in my car, drove home, got the kids off the bus, helped with homework, made whole wheat pancakes, had dinner with the family, set the timer on the coffee maker for tomorrow morning, and sat down here. It may have been just one of my days, but the thing is, it was one of MY days. Of MY life.
Like I said, I forget that today is part of the package deal. I think most people do.
I forget that today is one of those days I’m going to want to look back on and have something to say about it.

I think goals are great things to have.
Studies have shown in fact that in writing your goals down, you bring them into reality and make them tangible and therefore more reachable, and therefore you accomplish more of them.

Leave them in your head and that’s likely where they’ll live out your days.

So, in an effort to rid myself of theoretical living, I’d like to write down some goals I have. Mind you, I had no idea where this blog post was going when I sat down 10 minutes ago to write it (hence the title). It may not have taken you 10 minutes to read this far, but that’s because I was interrupted by an injured child who turned out not to be injured; at least not injured with an injury unhealable by handing him a cold whole wheat pancake.

Okay, back to my top-of-my-head list of goals for the remaining years of my life, however many or few they be:

1. To drive the same traffic circle Clark Griswold did, so that I too can say repeatedly, “Look kids, Big Ben!…Parliament!”
(Did I mention this list is in no particular order?)
2. To see the Grand Canyon. Preferably from the bottom of it.
3. To write a book someone besides me wants to publish.
4. To give my wife a much bigger diamond simply because I want to.
5. To speak to a stadium full of people about something I’m passionate about.
6. To see one US President in person.
7. To go kayaking this Friday with my wife. (Some goals should be more immediate.)
8. To be adored by my kids not because of what I do, but because of who I am.
9. To be a contestant on the Wheel of Fortune. I think I could clean up.
10. To have the laughter at my funeral outweigh the tears.
11. To know Jesus well.
12. To travel across the country in something other than a car or a plane.
13. To see my kids see their kids and finally see the love I have for my kids.
14. To do my part to make sure that when I die, less children are needlessly dying.
15. To ride in a helicopter.
16. To ride a motorcycle, even if my wife won’t let me leave the driveway with it.
17. To somehow help bring back the concept of respect for your elders. I think its fading.
18. To blog for the rest of my life, even if its just for my Mom and a few others.

Now, the trick is to keep these things in the forefront of my mind as I live each day. I may not end up in jolly ‘ol England tomorrow, but I will be living with a deeper passion for the opportunities of the moment. Imagine that.

And imagine something else: Imagine if online scammers spent their time being productive, creative, and useful members of our society instead of leeching off it. Imagine if “Angela Cutler”, the person who recently tried to scam me reads this, has a change of heart and becomes a better person; because in my view she/he/they can’t get much worse.

So back to my original question: When did I decide that safe was good? It’s probably around the same time I lost my list.