This past Christmas season, I traveled with my family to Joplin, Missouri to visit my wife’s family; her sister, her sister’s husband, their 2 young girls, and her parents.  To say that I love “her side” of the family would be a gross understatement.  I am so blessed with the in-laws that I have.  In fact, I can’t think of anyone I know with a better relationship with their in-laws than I have.

While we were there, we spent hours together just talking and laughing and enjoying each other’s company.  One afternoon, we went out to lunch together–the whole crew of us, all 12.  Toward the end of lunch the younger kids were done and since the restaurant was practically empty besides us, they felt comfortable to get out of the chairs and stroll around our long table, stopping to chat with others.  My youngest daughter Macy was near the head of the table talking to Aunt Markelle, my wife’s sister.

Markelle is approaching her 6th year of battling stage 4 colon cancer which has since spread to her abdomen and lungs.  To look at her, you’d never know it.  She’s a gorgeous young woman–vibrant and alive.  More than 6 years ago, however Markelle and her husband Chris decided to adopt a beautiful girl from Taiwan and I became the proud uncle of the one-in-a-gazillion “Cate”.  Cate was standing next to Macy as Macy talked to Aunt Markelle in that restaurant that day.  Macy asked, “Aunt Markelle, is Cate adopted?”

Okay, have you ever seen one of those paper towel commercials where some kid causes some huge messy spill and they somehow freeze frame the spill while it’s still in the air?  My immediate thought was, “Oh crap, I have no idea what Markelle and Chris have told Cate about being adopted!!!”  To my relief, Markelle said calmly and matter-of-fact to Macy, “Yes, Cate is adopted.”  And by the look on Cate’s face at that moment, this was “old news” to her by now.

But that instance and several others since then have compelled me to really dwell on the issue of adoption.  Adoption is something talked about in the Bible.  It is the very illustration that God chose to use to make clear to us the “transaction” of Him purchasing us for Himself, and bringing us into His family.  As adopted sons and daughters, we are rightfully privileged as “heirs with Christ”.  We are spiritually and “legally” endowed with the same blessings that God the Father places on God the Son.  Take a good long look at Romans 8, beginning in verse 15 (I’m going to type each word, rather than copy and paste them because I need to soak in them again…):

“So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s spirit when he ADOPTED you as his own children. Now we call him ‘Abba, Father.’  For His Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children.  And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs to God’s glory.”

This truth cannot be understated.  It cannot be considered too little.  It cannot be studied too closely.  This truth in these 3 verses sum up our position as adopted children of God.  Just as Chris and Markelle CHOSE to begin the adoption process through mounds of paperwork, CHOSE to spare no expense, CHOSE to fly to Taiwan, CHOSE to take that precious child into their arms, their care, their home, and their family….so God CHOSE to lavish His love upon humanity.  God CHOSE to spare no expense–not even the life of His only Son–to purchase me into His family.  Everything that belongs to a member of God’s family now belongs to me.  Every blessing bestowed on a child of God is now bestowed on me.  Every peace, every security, every bit of love given to any one person adopted by God is given to me.  Now I have it.  Now it is mine.  Now I am His.  Now HE is mine.  He is my parent.  I am His son.  I’m not “kinda” His child.  I am HIS fully.  Neither Chris nor Markelle has ever, is now, or will ever feel anything but complete love and total care for Cate.  Cate is not “kinda” anything.  She is FULLY family.  Everything that is theirs is hers.  Every privilege, every blessing, every part of what it means to be in their family is hers to the fullest.  And I suspect that as Cates grows older, she will understand even more of just how perfect a picture her life is of what God has done for her, for me, and for anyone who receives His invitation to come.

My wife and I are currently reading through “Choosing To See” by Mary Beth Chapman.  She is the wife of the well-known and loved Steven Curtis Chapman, the Christian music artist.  I’ve been a huge fan of his music ever since my youth and it’s awesome to read the story “behind the music” and what was going on at home while I enjoyed tune after tune of his.  Let me pause here and urge you to purchase this book and read it.  What…a…blessing.

The other day Merritt and I were sitting at the kitchen table, reading another chapter aloud to each other.  It was my turn to read and I was reading the story of when Steven Curtis, Mary Beth, and their 3 biological children traveled to China and first met and held their first adopted daughter, Shaohannah.  I read the details of the unfathomable love and instant transformation that came over Mary Beth in the simple act of taking into her arms this precious child, now HERS.  I was just overcome with emotion as I read Mary Beth’s new connection in her spirit as she understood in a new and profound way just how God looks at her.  And even as a parent who has not adopted, I can look at my own kids and get a taste for the incomprehensible love of God for me and for you and for all.  There I was, sitting at my kitchen table with tears rolling down my cheeks at the mind-blowing love of the Father for me.

What have I in the world to say to God but “Yes!” and “I’m all yours!” and “Take me into your family!” and “I don’t know why you want me, but I’m so glad you do!” Just like at that lunch table with my family, I can imagine an angel in heaven asking God the Father, “Hey God, is Jerry adopted?”  And with a smile God replies, “Yes.  Yes he is.”

I’ve been tasked by my wife to plan my own funeral.  Its not that she’s planning on me kickin’ off any time soon, its that she’s incredibly afraid that I actually will (before she does) and that she’ll be in no condition to make any decisions.  Fair enough, right?

Well, death is something I’m actually looking forward to.  I regularly think as days go by, that I’m one day closer to death.  And if you know me, I’d hope that you’d agree I’m anything but morbid.  The truth is, I’m looking forward to it.  Not the process of dying mind you, just the event itself; the moment when I pass from one location to another.  The short trip begins and ends in the time it’ll take my last breath to leave my lungs.

Now, back to my funeral.  First of all, you’re invited.  All I ask is that you laugh more than cry.  And I plan on making sure that’ll happen.  In fact, it’d be really great if your guts hurt by the time you left.  Go ahead, laugh it up.  I sure will be!  Also, if you plan on hanging around, pick up a bucket at KFC on your way.  I figure if everybody brings a little, we’ll have a lot.  Not to mention, who doesn’t want to be around someone with a bucket of chicken?  You’ll probably make some new friends–MY friends, so you better treat them well.

The music at my funeral will consist of sing-along tunes so you can, uh, sing along.  Some of my favorite top-of-my-lungs-alone-in-the-car tunes include classics like “Living on a Prayer”, “The Piano Man”, and whatever the name of that song is by Four Non-Blondes–you know the one where she sings “And I scream to the top of my lungs, ‘What’s going on!?!'”  You know that one.  And I’ll probably throw in a Christmas tune no matter what time of year it is because after all, who doesn’t like Christmas (I mean, besides Jews and atheists)?  I will not however be having karaoke.  That’s just tacky.

Now, who do I want to give the message?  I don’t know.  I honestly don’t know.  No one knows me like my wife does and I can bet my last life insurance dollar that she’s not getting up and saying jack squat, you can take that to the bank.  So, I’ll have to think about it.  If you’d like to apply for the position, email me an essay in 1,000 words or less why you’d do a good eulogy.  Oh wait, I just remembered Rob.  Rob has probably read my blog as much as my Mom.  Maybe more (sorry Mom).  And he always says really nice things about it.  So, I think Rob is definitely a front-runner at this point.  You’re welcome, Rob.

Okay, so we’ve covered food (don’t forget the bucket), we’ve got music taken care of, and I’ve given Rob the preliminary head-nod on the whole eulogy thing.  What else is left?  Oh yeah, the dancers.  Can somebody make sure there are back-up dancers?  And not fresh-out-of-dance-school dancers.  I want good ones.  Preferably 50 and older.  Seasoned veterans.

Well, that just about covers it.  I hope you’ll come and enjoy looking at my smiling face (don’t worry, I’ll be smiling) one last time.  I hope you have a great time at my funeral, and I hope that reading this has made you think about yours.

Don’t forget that bucket of chicken.  Thanks.

You’ve been reading my blog for at least 5-8 seconds now.  But some (Hi Mom!) have been reading it for years.  Up until now, I’ve really only been blogging my “cerebral meanderings” and have often only happened upon a point to convey.  Judging by the feedback I’ve gotten over the years, many people have seen my point.  I can’t tell you how gratifying it is to know my blog is being read by you (you’re up to 30-40 seconds by the way).  So, thanks.

But on the horizon has been a leap forward in what I’ve always hoped and wanted to take.  And that is to branch out into a website that is dedicated more specifically to youth ministry and those who are knee-deep in ministry to teenagers.  That site will likely launch sometime in 2011, and sooner than later.  It will be at a different address than this one and at this point I’m planning on leaving this one right here and continuing to blog whenever I can.

The reason I’m jumping headlong into the world of youth ministry resourcing is because I truly feel like I’ve got enough years behind me to say a thing or two to those who are in the trenches with me.  I’m in my 16th year of full-time ministry to students, and I can honestly say that I feel stronger as a student pastor & leader more now than I ever have.  I’ve learned so much along the way and I’m excited to share all I can with those who’d be curious/wise/bored enough to actually listen.

Another aspect of the new site will be youth ministry resources.  I’ve built up quite a collection of discipleship tools and small group resources that I’m excited to share.  These resources are by no means theoretical; they are tested and proven; tried and true–good to go for any youth ministry leader and dripping with practicality.

Now, all this leaves me with a dreadful sense of anticipation and excitement for what could unfold as we roll it out.  We’ll have a marketing plan unfolding, ways to connect with youth leaders who are rockin’ the world of student ministry, and other tools to help anyone out there doing what we’re doing–loving and leading students; or banging your head against a wall trying.

So, in the coming months watch for more news on how I’m taking the leap into a new adventure.  Pray with us, and if you’re in student ministry of any kind, drop me a line and let me know how we can serve, encourage, and bless your ministry.

Thanks for reading.

Might sound crazy to you, but I’ve often asked God to give me more tears.  I don’t cry much.  Not at good things, not at bad things.  No “tears of joy” or “tears of heartache”.  Some might argue that I haven’t lived yet.  That my passion for life haven’t yet risen to a point where tender moments–both bright and dark–bring me to weep.  And to them I’d say, “You’re probably right.”  But be that as it may, I have to say that one thing that does get me closer to (and a few times past) tears is dwelling on the incomprehensible love to Jesus Christ.  And not generically, but specifically.  The love that drove him from his throne to this earth.  The love that puts me at the center of his affections.  The mind-blowing thought that the same voice that spoke galaxies into existence has spoken my name in loving, gentle, redemptive tones. The unsearchable reality that there is a God who so loves me and you that He laid down His life for no other reason than to secure my and your eternity with Him.

We’re 2 days away from Thanksgiving and I’m already soaking in Christmas music and the joy of the season.  I love all that comes along with December: the crowds, the busyness, the activities, the decorations, the food, the Truth Story, and the music.  I was driving to work this morning listening to Chris Tomlin’s Christmas cd called “Glory In The Highest”.  Wow.  Powerfully crafted music.  There is a particular song called “Emmanuel [Hallowed Manger Ground]” and this morning as I drove, I approached that sensation of my eyes filling with tears at the very thought of this God coming to me, coming to you, coming to us, coming to love, coming to heal, coming to show the way, coming to teach, coming to serve, coming to give, coming to die, and coming to rise again!  I fought back tears for fear of not being able to see the road, but what a powerful reminder of just how much Jesus loves us–“…in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

I found a video that someone put together of this song “Emmanuel”.  Its not an entirely captivating song; that is, until you believe it.  And my desire for you this season is that you will.

“God incarnate….Here to dwell….Emmanuel….Emmanuel….Praise His name, Emmanuel!”

My youngest son has taken an interest in sign-making.  He’s got the downstairs pretty much covered.  He has labeled most of the rooms and closets so that guests in our home can know that when they walk in the kitchen, they are indeed in the “Kitchen”.  And if you happen to need tooth supplies, just look for the door with the sign “tooth supplies”.

As I watched him this morning making his next sign (which happened to be the “kitchen” sign to the left), I noticed that when he would have to go back and correct a mistake on one of his letters, he’d whisper the word “Band-Aid”.  I can only guess that his mind has made a connection between making a mistake and actually calling it a mistake.

In our culture, it’s becoming harder and harder to be wrong.  After all, if everyone is right and has a right to be right, then what happens to the whole concept of wrong?  We may have speed limits and jaywalking laws to keep us safe, but what about the boundaries that keep us civilized and dare I say it– moral?  As we move forward as a society, I fear that we’re truly moving toward a precipice that is going to be irreparable to us as a people.

Now, if you know me then you know I’m no wound-up fuddy-duddy who doesn’t know how to relax.  Some might say I’m the definition of relaxed.  But what I’m witnessing is our collective abandonment of objectivity in exchange for the more comfortable subjectivity when it comes to what’s right and what’s wrong.

Is it wrong for a husband to abandon his wife?  Yes it is.  Is it wrong for parent to verbally abuse their child?  Yes it is.  Is it wrong for me to steal from you?  Yes it is.  Is it wrong for an adult to have any sexual contact whatsoever with a minor–even a consenting minor?  Yes it is.  Is it wrong to smoke marijuana?  It used to be in most places.  Is it wrong to keep incorrect change the cashier gives you?  Yes it is.  Is it wrong  for a wife to chat online with another man that does for her what her husband does not?  Yes it is.

Through all of those examples, there are some (and many others) where we might be tempted to say, “Well…it depends.”  And this is the slope of ice that we find ourselves currently on.  Instead, we need to know what’s wrong, why it’s wrong and turn away from it.  Its the concept of repentance, and it is to feel sorrow for one’s actions to the point of changing one’s behavior.

2 Chronicles 7:14 says it this way:  “If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves, pray, seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, forgive their sins, and heal their land.”

Knowing that something is wrong is one thing.  But we need to go beyond simply knowing and start calling “Band-Aid” and then go to acting upon, with God’s enabling help, the changes that need to be brought so that we can stop doing the wrong thing we are doing.

This isn’t a tie-it-up-with-a-nice-bow kind of blog.  So, I’ll just invite your thoughts.   Go ahead, give them.

I was talking recently with a small group of adults that I hold dear.  We gather weekly to (in order of prominence): 1. Laugh, 2. Eat, 3. Share life, 4. Study God’s Word, & 5. Laugh some more.

We were recently talking about contentment and gratitude.  We all know that Thanksgiving is fast approaching and we also all know that as Christians, Thanksgiving should be a non-event.  A day to give thanks?  Seriously?  Do we really need to set aside a day when we shut everything down in order to give thanks?  It’s a ridiculous notion that I’m all for.  Why?  Well…in a word: turkey.  But that’s another blog.

What giving thanks does, as we discussed is…

1. It precludes & fights selfishness. Thankfulness cuts selfishness off at the knees.  When I’m thankful for what I have and who I know and where I am, I’ve taken my attention off of reaching for the self-serving things that quite honestly turn me into a jerk.  Greed takes my eyes off of what I already have and puts it on what I don’t.  It bathes me in discontent, bitterness, and resentment toward those who have what I don’t.

2. It cultivates humility. Keeping our eyes on being grateful begs the question: “Where did that come from?”  Understanding that ultimately what I have and enjoy is a gift from God puts me in the correct position of someone who is humble, not prideful.

3. It protects me from comparing myself to you. When I compare myself to others, I will end up with one of two conclusions: pride (because I decide I’m better than you, or pity (because I decide I’m not as good as you).  Neither of those are things God says about me–so I ought not dare say it about myself.

4. It cheers God on.  Simply put, thankfulness is our message to God to keep it coming.  It recognizes His provision, His protection, and His power to give and take whatever He chooses for our lives.

In just under 2 weeks, I’m going to be sharing a message called “Thanksliving” to a large group of students.  Pray for me as I convey the truth of what a thankful heart can do!

It’s Monday morning, and I’m still basking in the amazing events I had the chance to witness this past Saturday.  A friend of mine, David Lacy had learned about a woman named Mrs. Woods who had such a heartbreaking story including losing her husband 4 years ago in an accident, being unable to work due to her own injuries, and trying to care for not only her own children, but also those of her siblings while they work.  To help out, her mother moved in their small home in Kilmarnock, VA where Mrs. Woods sleeps in a chair each night, having given up her own bed for her mother to sleep in.

The response of about 60 people from our church was to take on the challenge of building an additional bedroom for the Woods family….in one day.  What a phenomenal blessing to watch God’s people do God’s work for God’s glory!