My Bus Station

I’m going to launch this site with a frightful admission.  It’s a confession to you that I fear will sound quite egotistical, or even self-glorifying.  I can only say that I in no way intend that to be the case.  If you know me, you know that.

I have been in student ministry for 16 years now.  I have spent most of those days on the front lines of mentoring, investing in, connecting with, influencing, and leading both students and adult leaders alike.  This life all began in my second year of college when I officially accepted God’s call on my life to full-time student ministry.

Upon graduation, I felt a deep sense of purpose, confidence, and even bravado.  I stepped into my first ministry with passion, fire, and determination to let the world see, no–BEHOLD the glory of the pioneering youth pastor I thought myself to be.

So, for the past 16 years, I have been doggedly seeking to be the best at everything I do relating to ministry.  And as I have grown older, I have begun to wonder more and more about what real difference I’ve made in anyone anywhere. 

And as I tried to stumble through an illustration that could explain what’s been going on in my head and heart, I shared with my wife the mental picture of a bus station where I feel that I am and have been for quite some time.  A bus station where I watch people in ministry come and go, departing for destinations far more significant than mine, with more appeal than mine, and with more shine than mine; all the while wondering when is it going to be MY turn to climb aboard a bus, or worse yet, did I MISS the bus I was supposed to get on?  I have always suspected that there would be a bus that would take me to greater influence, broader horizons, and even *gulp* more notoriety.

And even as I am floundering through these thoughts, my wife gave me a different perspective; a much better one.

She said, “But the way I see it, YOU are the bus station.  And God has brought you a constant stream of students like buses in and out of a bus station.  They’ve come in contact with you and gone out from your ministry to be who God made them to be.”

Is it any wonder why I’m so crazy about this woman of God?

I don’t know that I’ll instantly stop wanting greater impact, broader horizons, or *gulp* more notoriety.  But when I think about blessings, I need to remember that God usually blesses those who aren’t doing it for a blessing.  God blesses those who are humble, content, and grateful for who He is and all He has done.  And THAT is what I need to allow God to work on in me.

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