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How To Get Deeper…?

/ jerrythinks / Leave a comment

I’m going to guess that you’re discontent with some aspect of your life right now. That’s not much of a risky guess on my part, as any human 11 years old and older is cognisant of something, some area of who they are, where they are, or how they are that they’d prefer to change if they could.

Being who I am and doing what I do, I am keenly interested in how people grow. Not so much physically (which seems to take care of itself), but mentally, emotionally, psychologically, socially, and spiritually.

I’ve been doing that thing I do for over 3 decades and counting, and there seems to persist a common desire in most people that I’ve interacted with: humans want more. There’s an insatiable drive for something more than what currently is. It’s almost–though not quite–universal. So if that’s you, let me assure you that you’re not broken, you’re human. (And yes, I understand those are oftentimes interchangeable.)

What I’m thinking about today is a progression that you’ve likely considered if you’ve thought very much about how “more” or “deeper”, “authentic”, “growing”, or “dynamic” works when it comes to healthy relationships. If you have relationships, you want them to be as healthy as they can be. You might not know how to get there, but you want health nonetheless.

Here’s my mini-thesis: Heightened spirituality comes from deepened vulnerability.

We will not and cannot be closer to God apart from being closer to other humans. And any relationship you can have with any other human is measured in vulnerability. However vulnerable you have been has determined what depth of the relationship you have with them. It cannot be otherwise.

We tend to call this “deeper,” but I’m not sure if that’s actually the best term for it. It’ll suffice for now, but as we roll along, let’s keep our eyes out for some, perhaps more precise terminology here.

I’m not presenting a fully-developed “How to…” as in “Jerry’s 3 Easy Steps of How to Make Every Relationship You Have Or Will Ever Have As Healthy As It Can Possibly Be, Guaranteed.” But I do think that there’s probably some unearthed truth that we can dig up together for our good. Let’s dig.

When I say “vulnerability”, what thoughts come to mind? If I may, I’d like to introduce a wee bit of discomfort here. I want to remind you that we humans were created vulnerable. We (by virture of the first humans) were unclothed. Completely vulnerable. Can you even imagine that now? Don’t answer that. I don’t really want to know if you imagine that or not. Let’s move on.

God created humans into a state of vulnerability. Have you ever considered how peculiar that is? Why would God not flex his creative muscle even further by showing off his fashion design skills as well? Can you even imagine the type of clothing stylings the Almighty could send down the runway?

God created us as vulnerable creatures. We probably didn’t view it that way since there was no one else to compare ourselves to, but the very fact that Adam & Eve were naked and unashamed (Gen. 2:25) is clear evidence that we were indeed created for holy vulnerability. It stands to reason, then, that hiding is more connected to our fallenness, and openness is more connected to our divinity. Would you agree?

Simply put, human existence is measured in relationships. Two weekends ago, I attended two different celebrations of life (some call them funerals). Not surprisingly, I was again reminded that the measure of a person’s life has nothing at all to do with what they collected, accomplished, or saw. The measure was and is the relationships they forged. No one at either service spoke a word about each person’s bank account, model of car, size of house, position in the company, or even goals achieved. Nope. The entirety of every service was centered on who they were because of who they knew, and who knew them.

If you want to cultivate vulnerability in your life and thereby cultivate healthier, deeper relationships, you’ll need to start with the fact that you are completely vulnerable and known by God. Your soul is laid bare before Him. Right now. There is no chance of hiding one shred of thought from His gaze. He knows you fully. And here’s the kicker: He loves you fully. Yes. Still.

This truth unlocks the dark closet you’ve kept closed from others. Why? Because you have absolutely nothing to fear. If the Almighty God knows you and loves you, what can anyone else’s view matter? What exactly are you running from? The haunting and common thought “If they only knew _____ about me, they’d never want anything to do with me” dissolves and dissipates when we realize that God sees all of you and actually wants EVERYTHING to do with you.

So, how do we turn this seemingly powerful truth into actionable steps to take in terms of our relationships with others? First, I’d ask that you take stock in how vulnerable you’ve been. I’ll be quick to say that if you’ve been hurt in the past, I get that, but that’s not a good excuse. I recognize that guardedness is wise in certain directions, but I’d suggest to you that it’s really only necessary and healthy in ONE direction, not all. The mistake commonly made is that when pain comes from one, we defend against all. Again, I get it. But it’s not healthy.

So take stock of your vulnerability levels. How open have you been? How accessible have you been to others? How readily available have you been to be known and loved by those who are around you? I know some who bemoan the lack of love they feel from me or others, yet they themselves have kept me and others at arm’s length. It leaves me frustrated and largely powerless to convince them of the love I have.

Nothing wrong with having a moat, as long as you’ve got a working drawbridge.

What you’ll find as you pursue vulnerability is a freedom that you didn’t have before. The more open you are in the relationships you’re seeking to deepen (that word still ok?), the more you’ll find that others reciprocate and everyone wins. If you try and there’s no reciprocation, just move on. They’re not ready for a healthy relationship yet. It’s not that they’re broken necessarily; they’re just not ready.

Okay, let’s turn a corner. By now, you’ve got the idea nailed down that vulnerability is necessary for your relationships to be healthy. The dots I want to connect now are to the spiritual vitality that awaits you as a result of your vulnerability. Remember my mini-thesis: Heightened spirituality comes from deepened vulnerability.

What you’re going to find is that there’s a cyclical pattern that emerges when we are willing to open ourselves up. And I’ll warn you that it isn’t easy or comfortable. Let me explain.

Vulnerability leads to authenticity, which leads to intimacy, which leads to messiness. Simply put, vulnerability leads to messiness. The more you get to know someone, the more you get to see their flaws as well as their beauty. You’re a mixed bag of both. So are they. And vulnerability unveils both.

Before you pack it up and head out so as to avoid any relational messiness, let me also say this as emphatically as I can: Messiness is next to Godliness. What I mean is that when I have been willing to get messy in the details of someone’s life, God seems to be most apparent and His work seems most obvious. Why? Because I have chosen vulnerability, and as stated, hiding is more connected to our fallenness (Gen. 3:8), and openness is more connected to our divinity.

Can I take you to just one (out of many) examples of Jesus getting messy? You can read the whole account for yourself in John 8:1-11. But let me sum it up…

A woman had been caught in a very vulnerable position; evidently caught in the very act of sexual intercourse with someone. Those specific details aren’t shared. We only know she had been “caught in the act of adultery.” We don’t know if she was married, the guy she was “with” was married, or even if–ahem–the other woman she perhaps was “with” was married. We only know adultery had been committed.

It was the religious leaders who caught her in the act of adultery. As a pastor myself, I can’t even begin to tell you how infuriating that part of the story is; it really deserves its own blog post. So I’ll move on.

So there she is–maybe naked, maybe wrapped in a cloth. Who knows. All we know is that she’s exposed and “in front of the crowd,” and being accused, she was brought to Jesus for judgment.

But look at the messiness Jesus engages with. Read verse 6. Jesus stoops down and begins to write in the dirt with his finger. May I suggest to you that the dirt under Jesus’ fingernails is indicative of the messiness He invites us to as we interact with people? There was no reason for Jesus to get dirty and messy that day, except that He was identifying with the woman who had been caught in her own mess.

Here’s my suggestion: If you want to get closer to God, get messy with people.

I love how the New Living Translation presents Hebrews 4:13:

“Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”

So your life and mine aren’t meant to be guarded, but given. Our relationships are built for openness. Our fingernails are made to dig in the dirt of unafraid vulnerability. As we do, we find that our closeness with God and others increases. He made us to be known, and we rest fully when we know we are fully known.

“I heard you, sir.”

/ jerrythinks / 2 Comments

I had just finished touring the King Center, a tribute to Martin Luther King, Jr., his life and legacy, Coretta Scott King, and even a little nod to Gandhi. Apparently, MLK and Gandhi were mutually influenced by one another. Anyway, I truly enjoyed my time walking among the stories, pictures, and personal effects of the man known by millions as the personification of the civil rights movement. A personal hero to millions, Martin Luther King, Jr. was and is a powerful force who sought to sow a powerful love of humanity.

After the self-guided tour, I was walking toward Ebenezer Baptist Church, just at the end of the block from the King Center. Ebenezer Baptist Church (location pictured below) was where MLK Jr. served as co-pastor with his father, Martin Luther King, Sr. until his assassination in 1968. It was in this building that MLK Jr.’s funeral was held.

As I was walking toward the well-known church, I saw the form of a person lying/sleeping in the concrete doorway of the building. They roused, sat up, and immediately began to cry. I’ll say here that I’m not given to theatrics. I’ve come across my fair share of individuals who are experiencing homelessness and are in full and honest need of help. And those who only appear to be.

Compelled to stop, I greeted her as a response to her weeping. I sat down next to her on that stoop, as she cried to the point of being incoherent. I couldn’t really understand what she was even saying, but I knew it was something.

“I’m sorry, I can’t understand what you are saying”, I said to her plainly. She repeated herself.

“Everyone keeps walking past me,” she said much more clearly.

“I didn’t”, I said in a matter-of-fact tone.

She then launched into some sad story about her son, about cancer, about abuse she endured, about the Salvation Army and how far away it was, and about how she hadn’t eaten in a number of days, nor had she showered. As far as that last point, it was abundantly clear that she was being honest.

I told her I couldn’t really do anything about her need for money (I heard her murmur something about needing $20), but that I would be happy to try and find her some food nearby. She lunged at me, threw her arms around me, and embraced me, crying on my shoulder. I asked her what her name is. She told me, and I said, “I’m Jerry.” Introductions made, we continued to sit and talk.

I pointed out that I was with a few other people, but would certainly try and bring her some food. She quickly pointed to a corner market across the intersection from where we were and assured me she “didn’t like food from that place.” Hmmm. As I was about to blurt out, “Well, beggars can’t be—-” my finely tuned filter kicked in before I uttered a word of it. But I’ll confess to you here that I did in fact start to think it.

She started to ask for money a second time. She really was intent on getting $20 from me. I assured her I didn’t have that to give. But I did feel compelled to offer her something. I turned away from her, peeked into my wallet, and saw what I had.

I’ve heard the argument repeatedly that you should never give people on the street cash. They’ll just use it for some vice, or some unhealthy habit, or in some way that only ultimately hurts them, and likely pushes them further into their dire situation. You’ve heard this argument too (or thought it, or said it). So I’ll skip the part where we pretend the person giving isn’t often very suspicious of the person asking.

But I’ll just tell you that when I sense I should (and I’m able to) give someone something, my focus stops being on what they’ll do with it, and it only becomes whether I’m going to be obedient or not. What they do with it isn’t my concern. You can handle these situations however you’d like. This is just how I handle them.

So I handed her a $5 bill I had taken from my wallet, and again she told me she needed $20. Hmmm. My brain internally retorted, “Listen, I’ll be happy to take back my $5 if you don’t want it.” But as far as I was concerned, that was already HER $5. I said that should get her a footlong sub from Subway.

I stood up and continued to chat with her as I was getting ready to rejoin my friends. My next statement included her name, and unsure if she had caught mine in all the crying and hub-bub, I said, “And my name is Jerry.”

“I heard you, sir.” She looked blankly and distantly up the street and away from me. No more tears. No more emotion. We had done our business, and she had quickly moved on. And I knew at that moment our interaction was over.

Listen, I’m no Gandhi. I know I didn’t save this woman’s life with my measly fiver. But in that cold tone of hers that dismissed me to be on my way after not giving her exactly what she asked for, I’ve got to admit that for a couple of minutes, I wrestled with a jaded attitude.

But quickly and clearly, God’s Spirit spoke to me. Here’s what He said. I offer it to you as a way to encourage you if you ever find yourself in a situation anywhere closely similar to this one.

“You do what I ask you to do. Period. Don’t worry about what she does or doesn’t do.”

You may recall that Peter asked the risen Jesus what He was going to have John do, right after Jesus gave Peter his marching orders. In a very real way, Jesus rebuked Peter and basically told Peter it wasn’t his concern. Jesus said, “…what is that to you? You must follow Me.” (John 21:22)

Jesus’ earthly mission was to fulfill what the Father had given Him to do. (John 4:34 & 6:38) And He was going to do that undeterred by our response to that obedience. Even at this moment, Jesus loves humanity with the love that drove Him to the cross on our behalf, even while we turn from Him and live selfishly, even when our lives are seeking the proverbial $20 because we think that’s what we need, even as we choose comfort over compassion. Through all that, Jesus’ obedience to the Father’s salvation plan is what holds the gates of heaven open at this very moment.

So with peace of mind and heart restored after brief interruption, I walked away from that situation not having given a woman $5, but having given Jesus my fumbling, stumbling obedience.

“’My food,’ said Jesus, ‘is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.'” -John 4:34

“For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me.” -John 6:38

Form-Fit Faith

/ jerrythinks / 1 Comment

“Your own, personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares.
Your own, personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who’s there.”

If you’re a fan of “the Man In Black”, Johnny Cash, OR if you’re a fellow Gen Xer (like yours truly), you recognize those words from the song “Your Own Personal Jesus”. Released by Depeche Mode in 1989 and then again by Johnny Cash in 2002. More on that in a sec.

In other news, I have to give you an update on my life. This might shock some of you, and for that I’ll just give you a mild “sorry, not sorry.” In all honesty, I’m not sure I ever thought I’d say to you what I’m about to say.

For months and months, my wife has worn and enjoyed a pair of Birkenstock sandals. She swears by them. She loves them. They were always “her thing” and honestly I never considered myself a Birkenstock type of guy. Just not my vibe. No offense to all you hemp-wearing hippies out there. Do your thing. Birkenstocks just weren’t for me. Period.

As we approached my birthday (which happened just a couple of weeks ago), my wife was quietly and gently suggesting and hinting that maybe I might want to rethink my staunch stance on these sandals, beloved by millions. She was convinced that once I just tried them, I’d change my tune. Long story short, I’m sitting here at my laptop that’s sitting on a cafe table, and just under that table on my two feet are…you guessed it…

I’ve come to realize that Birkenstocks really are a great shoe. As I’ve been told, the longer I wear them, the more comfortable they’ll become. Apparently, the unique corky material used in the footbed will slowly morph itself to the shape of my foot. The more I walk, the better they fit.

David invites us with these words in Psalm 34:8:

“Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.”

Every faith story begins with a willingness to taste. For some, that taste is taken at the bottom of life’s proverbial barrel, at rock bottom, when there are no other options left. For others, that taste is taken when life is going just fine, but there’s still an empty ache that persists within us. For some, the taste is taken after tasting of the world and the world’s ways and metrics of success have been tasted and found at first sweet, but afterwards leaves a deep, bitter aftertaste that simply won’t do. Regardless of who you are, the invitation is the same: Taste & See. The imperative connotation David gives us is that if you taste, you’ll see that, in fact, “the Lord is good.”

The longer I walk with Jesus, the more Jesus becomes so very personal to me. He’s not merely King, Messiah, Savior, “Darling of Heaven”, and Supreme Authority, though he is most definitely all those things. He’s also my greatest friend, my closest ally, my solid ground, and the One to whom I can (and do) take every topic, every question, every pain, every frustration, every joy, and every experience I have. There is nothing this personal Jesus isn’t personally involved with in my life. I’ve tasted and I’ve seen that He’s good.

Have you tasted and seen the same?

If you haven’t tasted and seen that the Lord Jesus is good, let me echo David’s invitation to you today, thousands of years after it was originally recorded. Taste Him. You’ll see.

I’m not pushing religion here. I’m not asking you to join a club. I’m not saying meet me at church this Sunday. I’m saying right where you are, right how you are, in whatever condition your life is in right now, and for whatever reasons you haven’t tasted and seen up to this point. Just taste, and you’ll see.

Tell me you’ve tasted and haven’t seen that He’s good. I’d love to hear those stories. I’d love for you to reach out if you’ve actually tasted who Jesus truly is, and have found Him to be NOT good. Please reach out. Email me. Call me up. Leave a comment below. I’m not gonna argue with you. I really just want to hear your story.

Tell me if you’ve tasted and found Jesus to be good. Leave me a note in the comments and testify to the goodness of God. I’d love to gather as many people as possible who read these words to simply drop a statement so that others can see that you’ve tasted and seen that Jesus is good. That you’ve tried Him and found that He’s not only the centerpiece of time and eternity, but He’s a personal friend in whom you’ve placed your form-fitted faith.

Worthy.

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I was driving in my car this morning after having just dropped my son off at work, and was listening to Shane & Shane’s rendition of “Worthy of it All” when a thought struck me. I’ve got tons to get done today, but I wanted to get some thoughts down before I get to those things because I think there’s something here…well….worthy of some wrestling and articulating.

In the song I just mentioned, the lyrics are borrowed from the apostle Paul’s letter to the Church in Rome. Read Romans 11:36. The song lyrics I want to focus on are: “You are worthy of it all…You are worthy of it all…for from You are all things, and to You are all things…You deserve the glory.”

It struck me that all of our ills, woes, issues, and dilemmas have some (or all) of their roots in this very issue: Worthiness. The scene described in the song, borrowed from John’s vision of God’s throne found in the book of Revelation, is one of utter weightlessness in view of the majesty and power of the One on the throne. It seems to me, dear friends, that we hold off on reckoning the worthiness of God until some later, future date and time. We view that throne scene as some “I can’t wait to get there and see that”, all the while the scene is present tense, and contemporary with wherever you are and whatever you are facing, right now.

Our failure to acknowledge the worthiness of God of our praise, our attention, our affection, and our surrender has a direct impact on the weight we carry (needlessly) on our own shoulders. When we extol the King as worthy, we acknowledge His power, and hoist our cares onto those shoulders and into that great, unfathomable power. From Him are all things, and for Him are all things, and to Him all things will return. Translation: None of this is yours or mine to bear alone. None of the struggles you’re facing right now actually belong to you. When you confess the worthiness of God by virtue of His power, you relieve yourself of the nonsensical need to carry anything in your own power.

There’s a weightlessness that awaits you, and I’d dare say its moments away from this moment. Because if God truly “deserves the glory”, then He must also be worthy of the weight of that glory. Let me put it bluntly: For you to hold on to the weight you carry is to say that God is not worthy of it. And to withhold the weight of your woes is to stop short of worship.

So let me ask you this: Do you view God as worthy of your worship? Is He to you what He declares He is to all? Do you truly believe that from Him, and for Him, and to Him are all things, even the things you hold in your heart, mind, and hands?

If you view God as worthy of your worship, it makes zero sense that you would withhold anything from Him, especially those things that would weigh you down today.

“For from him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.”

Romans 11:36

Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne and worship him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say:

“You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.”

Rev. 4:9-11

And if you aren’t familiar with the song, let me introduce you to it…

The Safest Assumption

/ jerrythinks / 2 Comments

I’ve got to admit something openly. It isn’t easy, but I know it’ll be healing for me and maybe helpful for you. Here goes.

I do not always assume that God is working.

There. I said it. It’s out there now. You just read those words. If you’re feeling some kind of “That’s it?” feeling, let me assure you that I realize you maybe thought I was divulging a skeleton from a dark corner of some closet of my past. Believe it or not, I just did.

For most of my life, I have operated under the assumption that even while I may claim belief in God, and even follow Jesus, and even worship Him regularly, and even gather with other followers of Jesus, and even pray…I have not operated under the continual assumption that He is working. I would say that most of my journey of following Jesus has been akin to seeing a cardinal zip across the blue midday sky; an occasional occurrence marked by wonder but seemingly over as quickly as it began. Until it came around again. Until then, keep trucking. Buy groceries. Brush teeth. Pay bills. Cut the grass. Just…you know…life.

My heart assumed that God showed up and did His God thing sporadically, inconsistently, and, dare I say, haphazardly. You ever watch a night sky with a friend and they yell out, “OH! I shooting star! That was so cool!!! Did you see that?!?” No. You didn’t. Just a *fffttt* and it was gone.

My mind assumed that if I laid all the pieces of surrender and obedience just so, if I plugged all the variables into the equation in just the right way, I could have more of these red cardinal, shooting star sightings. The danger there is that that’s partly true so we think it’s always true. And when we think we’ve nailed the equation and God doesn’t show up…well….that’s a faith-shaker. Basing God’s spiritual prerogative on my spiritual performance is never a good idea. Some of my fellow Gen-X’rs remember the game “Perfection”. Get all the pieces in before the timer runs out. Spiritually speaking, that’s the anxiety that kind of assumption produces (and don’t even get me started on Superfection)!

So here’s what I’m doing. If it helps you, great. If it doesn’t, just know you’re further along than I am.

I’ve changed my assumption from “maybe God will show up today” to “I will see God working today. Not because I say so, but because He is, and I have the choice either to see it or not.”

Now I’m finding God in every conversation, every situation. I’m seeing God work through others for my sake and even through me for the sake of others. Here’s the kicker: God hasn’t changed anything. I’ve changed my assumption about Him; how and when He moves and works. It’s gone from “occasionally” to “now” and “always”.

The safest assumption you can make in your relationship with God is that He is not merely somewhere nearby or that He might possibly pass by like some rare bird, but that in every moment you’re living, there is a true volatility of His Spirit. There is a moving, a happening, a level of activity that clearly indicates His character and His willingness to reveal Himself to you, to me, to us.

Do you want to assume this with me?

Praydoh

/ jerrythinks / 2 Comments

When I was kid, my mom would make homemade Play-Doh. You remember Play-Doh, right? It came in bright yellow buckets, and if you were super fancy, you also bought different playsets that did different things with your Play-Doh. The barber shop, the McDonald’s licensed playset, and the “Doctor Drill ‘n Fill” playsets were super popular.

But my magical mom knew how to make her own. I don’t know what was in that stuff, but as I think about those memories, the smell of it returns in a palpable way to my nostrils. Crazy how that works.

I’m not sure why she didn’t just buy Play-Doh at the store, but I’d guess it was cheaper to make our own. I remember I always struggled to have patience while the clay cooled, so I could play with it without getting third-degree burns.

I do recall that there were more than a couple of occasions where I would be playing with the homemade version of our Play-Doh and I’d get distracted by some other thing, probably Tom & Jerry or He-Man. Or maybe my Legos were calling me. And I’d leave my squishy clay out on the kitchen table.

Whatever shape your spiritual life and health are in right now, it is how you last touched it. Whatever condition your faith currently exists in, it is a direct result of what you have done with it–for better or for worse.

Can I ask you to stop whatever you’re doing right now–whatever episode of Tom & Jerry your heart is distracted by, or whatever pain your life circumstances have handed you, or whatever bitterness has developed because of that wrong you feel has been done to you–and simply return to the kitchen table and sink your hands into an actual conversation with Jesus?

If you don’t, that clay will harden. It will stay in the shape it is currently in and the work of reshaping it will become more difficult the longer it sits. How fresh is your faith right now? How much time has passed since you’ve obediently sculpted it with God’s Spirit playing alongside you?

If you have found your heart and faith have hardened like that lump of clay, simply invite God’s renewing Spirit to breathe new life into your mind and heart right now. It isn’t a chore for Him; it would be His joy to rekindle that conversation and soften that lump of clay, so that you can continue to grow.

Jesus, I return my heart and my affection to you. I come back to the place where I loved you most. I acknowledge that lesser things have pulled me away, and I’ve allowed that to happen. But in this moment, I want to return to you, my first love. Thank you for love that forever welcomes me back.
Amen.

I looked up a recipe for homemade Play-Doh, in case you’ve never experienced it, or if you have and just want to rekindle some memories. While you do, spend time talking with Jesus.

  1. 1 cup plain flour. 1 cup water. ½ cup cooking salt. 1 tablespoon cream of tartar* … 
  2. Mix the flour, water, salt and cream of tartar in a saucepan over medium heat until thick. Allow the mixture to cool and then add the oil. Knead well over a floured cutting board. … 
  3. Store your play dough in an airtight container.

Additives & Preservatives

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What thing, quality, or experience–if added to your life–do you strongly suspect would enhance it greatly? We’ve all likely been prone to the regularly occuring daydream where we think “If only I had ______…” or “If only I did _____ for a living, then I’d be….” or “If I could just get to _______, I know I’d feel so much happier, more fulfilled, and content.”

I want to ask you specifically to think about that thought:

What thing, quality, or experience–if added to your life–do you strongly suspect would enhance it greatly? Use the comment section below to share your answer. Or find me on social media and send me a DM. Or if you’ve got my number, text or call me. Yes, really.

This isn’t an exercise in discontentment, and I’m not trying to stir up some angst within you, forcing you to focus on and gripe about what isn’t there. This is more of an exercise in capturing (or at least spotting) the elusive bird called aspiration. Why? Because in our typical work-a-day lives, we can sometimes lose sight of what it means to dream, to plan, to move, to morph, to advance, to attain what seems good to us.

And let me be clear: wanting is not a sin. I have a long list of wants. Here are a few:

I want all my children to know, adore, and follow Jesus– not because my wife and I do, but because a living, vibrant love relationship with Christ is the only solid ground that exists in this world. I want my wife to never doubt that she married a man who thinks of her continually, and can’t wait to see her again. I want to see the Church live out its Commission in the power of the unexplainable Holy Spirit so that the whole world gets a better view of grace than we have given it. I want to commute to work on a Vespa GTS 310 or a Honda X-ADV scooter. I want to hike Ireland with my wife. I want young people to boldly take their place in this unique piece of history in God’s story of humanity. I want to win Chipotle for life. I want more land and a bigger house, so my future grandkids can build sweet memories of going there to catch frogs, wrestle goats, eat ice cream, and find joy. I want to be a wildly friendly person. I want French fries from Dante’s on Ironbridge Road. I want lower cholesterol (And yes, I see the connection). I want Post to bring back Maple Pecan Crunch cereal (believe me, I’ve asked). I want clean water for every person in the world. I want pastors who seem to revel in celebrity status to pack it up and do something else. I want us as a human race to slow our roll on AI. I want New York bagels to be available in central VA (Cupertino’s is closest, in my opinion). I want to better understand anxiety and depression so I can better connect with those who struggle daily. I want 7-11 to finally figure out how to do a sweet tea Slurpee. It seems so doable. I want more wealthy people to be more generous, and I want more impoverished people to find their way out of poverty. I want to understand why so many of my wants seem to gravitate to food and drink. I guess more than anything, I want Jesus to make good on His promise to return for His bride.

No, wants aren’t bad. Wants we have that either stand opposed to God’s wants or pull us away from intimacy with Jesus are what’s bad. Jesus speaks extensively in the gospels, and Paul speaks at length in his letters about managing our desires and aligning with God’s desires for us (which, by definition, are far better anyway). If you want to read more about those, here are some passages for you:

  • Matthew 6:24
  • Matthew 10:33
  • Matthew 20:26-28
  • Matthew 23:11-12
  • John 5:44
  • Romans 8:7
  • Ephesians 5:8-10
  • Philippians 2:3
  • 1 Thessalonians 4:11

So what would you like to add to your life right now, if you could? And being as objective as possible, what would be the logical conclusion to getting that want?

Here’s my working theory: The best additives (things we seek to add to our lives) are also the best preservatives (those things that uphold and protect the most important relationships in our lives). If you have (or attain) a want but the expense of the want is the erosion of a relationship, you had a bad want.

Likewise, if your main aim is to simply preserve what you are and what you have, you’re going to forfeit your ambition for some (or all) of your wants. Some Christians seem to operate this way. They live in a perpetual circling of the wagons in an effort to simply hold on to some illusion that things are now as they used to be.

Lord, help us to be a people driven by the mission you gave us: To love people in a way that simply points them to Your love so that the gift of salvation is the message of our lives. And while we do, help us to navigate and when necessary, surrender the things that would get in the way of our closeness with You. Give us grace to interact with others so that Your grace is clearly reflected. Protect us from attitudes that are not fueled by Your Holy Spirit. Make Your Church a unified Bride, busy at the work you’ve given us to do. We temper our wants and submit them to You. Sanctify us wholly.
Amen.