A motor scooter divided against itself…

I wish I could have taken a picture of it.  You wouldn’t have believed what I was seeing.  I was driving home yesterday, taking the backwoodsy route instead of the highway.  I made the turn onto that backwoodsy road and almost immediately came upon a young man riding a motor scooter.  I noticed right away that the rider was sitting kind of cock-eyed; almost side-saddle.  He seemed to be struggling to keep his balance.  “Weird”, I thought.  And because of his painfully slow rate of speed and the length of that backwoods road, I had plenty of time to figure out exactly why he was struggling.

Soon after noticing his posture and awkward lean, I noticed the cause of it.  I looked down at the two wheels of his scooter and something was obviously wrong with the scooter’s frame.  The two wheels were literally leaning in opposite directions.  It was the strangest guy-on-a-scooter thing I’d ever seen.  Clearly, this rider was trying his best to drive a motor scooter that simply wanted to drive away from itself.

I’ve recently heard people quote Abraham Lincoln when he said, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.”  Unfortunately they don’t seem to realize that Abraham Lincoln was actually quoting Jesus and not the other way around.  (Matthew 12:25)

Jesus was speaking to those who were accusing Him of casting out demons in the name of Beelzebul, the prince of demons.  What kind of sense would that make?  Like it or not, Jesus just caught the religious uppity-ups talking nonsense.

I had a great chat last night with my kids around the dinner table.  We were discussing why it is (as young people who love Jesus) they don’t get involved in the way many other kids at school talk, just for example.  Specifically, why weren’t they getting involved in the gossip, the slander, and the profanity–all of which they hear around them on a non-stop basis?  Why not give up and jump in?

Their answers were clear and filled with conviction, but what I liked most was their simplicity.  In essence, they could see just how broken that path was and they wanted no part of it.  They were saying that they’d made their decision and while swimming through their everyday life in public school was/is anything but a picnic, their decision to steer clear of a one-foot-in-and-one-foot-out approach to following Jesus is holding strong.

Because even though they are young, they’ve already seen that a house divided (in this case, a half-committed follower of Jesus) is a miserable existence.  They are by no means perfect, just as their dad isn’t perfect.  But they are clear on their decision.  And for that I’m so thankful.

The Art of the Brake

Last week, my oldest daughter took her drivers permit test.  Unfortunately, she passed.

And its not that I’m not looking forward to her driving.  I’m just not looking forward to her growing up. But alas, that’s the aching plight of every parent, isn’t it?

The driving part I’m actually cool with.  I like the sight of her behind a wheel.  Mostly because I know how huge a life step this is for her and her excitement to take that step.  And I’m laid back enough to actually both enjoy the journey of teaching a teen to drive and hopefully also help to set her at ease as well.

The other night I took her to the biggest, emptiest parking lot I could find. We filled it with imaginary cars and navigated our way through the invisible traffic.  We started off with the first-things-first checklist like seat position, mirrors, seat belt, and all that good stuff.  Then, when everything seemed to be in order, I said some pretty terrifying words: “Okay, now with your foot firmly pressing the brake, shift from park (that’s that big “P”) to drive (that’s that big “D”).  She did just that and as far as I could tell, we were both still alive.

“Okay…now slowly, ever-so-slowly, painfully slowly, I want you to slowly, real slow-like, lift your foot off of the brake pedal.”  She did and we slowly (that was on purpose) began to creep forward.  Technically speaking, my daughter was driving our car.  And yep, we were still alive.

While other parents might have instructed their new driver to move their foot to the accelerator, I did not.  Mostly because acceleration was something I was entirely disinterested in at that moment. Instead, and after a long journey of 10-15 feet I said, “Okay…now slowly apply pressure to the brake pedal.”  With the slightest jolt, we came to an immediate stop.  And so we tried again: release the brake, apply the brake…release the brake, apply the brake.  Its not that I was afraid of the gas pedal, its just that my priority for teaching my daughter how to drive was to first get her to learn the art of the brake.

We’ve lost that art form in our culture today.  We seem to constantly be full-throttle, never-stop, ever-faster, and busier-is-better.  But from what I can tell, we’re reaping exactly what we’ve sown. We’re burnt out, we’re worn thin, we’re frayed inside and out, we’re impatient, we’re irritable, we’re self-centered, and we’re unrested.  We’ve lost the art of the brake.

Where are your heart, mind, or emotions thread-bare today?  Where is rest a forgotten art form?  While your defense mechanism might throw up the wall of “things just have to be this way” or “I’m just going with the flow of traffic”, let me challenge you to look deeper than defenses.  Look to where you lost the brakes and find a way to regain your ability to come to a full and complete stop.

Indecision and its repercussions.

They say “Indecision is the key to flexibility.”  Image

45 minutes.  My wife claims that’s how long I wavered between 2 pairs of sneakers in a shoe store the other day. I had tried on 5-7 pair and had narrowed that lot down to 2.  But that is where my affections began oscillating.  Back and forth I’d look at one pair, enamored with their bright splendor.  Then to the other pair, equally infatuated with their magnificentness.

I wouldn’t consider myself a “shoe guy” as in I don’t own a bedroom full of shoes.  But when its time to buy some new kicks…well…let’s just say I take that decision to the hilt of “life or death” decision-making.  I know that’s ridiculous but I own my ridiculosity.

And while riding the pendulum of shoe decisions is awfully fun, I’d like to take a swing at a conviction I have.  And this one’s going out to anyone willing to listen.  Especially you “church-goers”.

If you attend a local church, then do so.  By all means, make yourself available to serving that local church. Don’t engage when you’re willing, but disengage when you’re unwilling.  Or busy.  Or checking out the church up the road.

(Parenthetical paragraph: The apostle Paul told his protege Timothy to “Preach the Word. Be prepared in season and out of season…” That expression “in and out of season” is better translated “when its convenient and when its not” or “when you feel like and when you don’t”.  I know that was one missionary/church planter to another, but I believe we’d do well to heed the principle here.  It’s 2012 and we’d rather be entertained then edified. We’d rather be flimsy than faithful.  We’d rather see what we can get than see what we can give.)

Don’t try it for a while and then head up the street to another local church because they’ve got something you’d like more at the moment. Don’t approach your involvement in a local body of believers as if you’re bellying up to the Sizzler meat buffet and take a sampling of whatever suits your fancy from week to week.  Stop putting one foot in and one foot out.  Its fine for the hokey pokey, but truth be told: you’re aiding in the demise of your own spiritual health. 

At our church (local body of believers in and followers of Jesus), we tell people: “If you’ve come to Southside looking for the perfect church, you can look no further. Not because this is the perfect church, but because it doesn’t exist. So look no further.”

No joke, I JUST got a text message from someone who has attended our church in the past, has been gone for a while, and was asking what’s going on for students these days.  Before answering her question, I asked my own.  It went a little something like this: “Where you been? We’ve missed seeing you!”  The response was quick: “At the other church.”  They went on to say that “the other” church does one thing well and they like that, but we do something else well and they like that too.

Am I the only one who sees anything wrong with this “flavor of the month” approach to local church involvement?  I might be.  I remember a conversation I had with another local youth pastor years ago. We discussed how students float from one youth ministry to another; perhaps that meet on different nights of the week.  “I think its great.”, he said.  

But what ever happened to commitment? Whatever happened to “this is my church and I love my church”?  I’m not saying that one church is better than another; heavens no.  I’m saying there’s so much more richness when we seek out a place where the risen Jesus is proclaimed, God’s Word is honored and taught, and where God’s Spirit is alive and well leading His Church forward—and PLANTING yourself there.

No local church is everything to everyone.  I don’t even mind that there are 10 church buildings within a few miles of the one I attend.  What I do mind is when Christians waver between churches like I wavered between shoes.  “I like how these feel, but I like how those look” is easily interchanged with “I like how he preaches, but I like how they do worship music.”

I’m not about competition either. I don’t want everyone in my county to go to my church.  I want the gospel to go out, the good news to be spread, I want people to find, fall in love with, and follow Jesus. I care far less about the name on the front of the church than I do about the God who is the Head of the Church. And I know there are extenuating circumstances that keep people from regular attendance, but nothing except self-centeredness will keep people from committing themselves to serving at one local church.

Just as I did after those excruciating 45 minutes, let me beg you:  pick one and stick with it.

 

 

By the way…

ImageImage

I went with the Adidas.

 

Guilty.

My wife and I hadn’t spent the past 5 anniversaries together.  But this past June 24th, we had the wonderful privilege of not just having dinner together, but also an overnight stay at a swanky hotel.  Excited?  You bet I was!  And that might explain how while driving on our way to dinner I didn’t exactly notice the speed limit signs.  It wasn’t an area I drive in very regularly and I thought I was just going with traffic.

(Cue the flashing blue and red lights behind me.)

So, I pull over while making the year’s biggest understatement: “I think I’m being pulled over.”  Officer ImageWhatshisname asks for my license and registration and the whole schpeel.  You know the drill.

After receiving my ticket, we head on our way to dinner, none the worse for wear.  Let me say that I think getting a speeding ticket on the way to your anniversary dinner may have sparked a bit of tension between another couple perhaps. But I married up.  WAY up.  And she was as relaxed and carefree as could be. No disapproving sighs. No awkward silence. No arms crossed, seething in frustration. Just love. Man, I love this woman.

I decided that I wasn’t going to just send a check for the ticket and be done with it, but rather I’d actually go to court. And when my day of reckoning came, the experience of that day reminded me of a wonderfully freeing truth.  (You knew it would.)

I found my assigned courtroom and shuffled in with all my fellow common criminals.  We sat down in what reminded me of the long wooden pews of my childhood church. One by one, the judge called each individual on that day’s docket and they approached the bench to converse about their particular offense.

Then the time came.

“Jeremy Varner”.  My name echoed off the chamber walls.  I approached the judge’s bench and looked up into the face of the black-robed man who held my life in his hands (or at least my license).  “Mr. Varner, are you guilty or not guilty of speeding?”

“Guilty, Your Honor.”Image

“Mr. Varner, I see you have a clean driving record. Would you like to take a driving school course and have your ticket dismissed?”  I’m pretty sure I responded, “That would be great!”  The judge continued “Step to your left and the bailiff will explain the details, and you’ll be free to go.”

Admission of guilt leads us to freedom.  That confession was not a sign of weakness anymore than breaking a bone and going to the hospital to have it repaired is a sign of weakness, or any more than having a busted pipe in your home and calling a plumber is a sign of weakness.  Admission of guilt is essentially a cry of “I’m stuck and helpless.”  But with God, our admission of guilt triggers the administering of His grace.  Don’t confess your guilt and He won’t convey His grace.  That doesn’t mean He’s cut you off from forgiveness; it just means you’re not taking what’s being freely offered because of your stubborn pride.

The best part of that day in court for me quite honestly was my admission of guilt.  I had no problem pleading guilty because I knew that it was true.  I didn’t argue it, I didn’t blame the officer’s equipment, I didn’t make excuses.  I just said, “I’m guilty.”

Our church choir loves to sing a particular song and while I don’t know the actual title, I do know a poignant, repeated line in the chorus: “Jesus dropped the charges.”  It’s a foot-stomping tune that revs the crowd up every time they sing it.  But if I could, I would tweak the lyrics just a bit from “Jesus dropped the charges” to “Jesus PAID the charges!”  When I admit my guilt, Jesus applies His blood.  When I openly confess I’m at fault, Jesus openly declares my freedom.

After the Lovin’…

I’ve been a Christian and in full time ministry long enough to have become fascinated by a particular Imagephenomenon I see in the lives of so many Christians and congregations.  If you’ve been around us Christians, you’ve seen it too.  Its the reality that for some strange reason, the older we get, the less passionate we seem to be about our love relationship with Jesus.  Its as if unabashed hilarity is relegated only to the very young of age or very young of faith.  If you’re older in your faith or just plain older, well then…simmer down.

I see Christians who have been walking with the Lord for a while glance knowingly at each other when they encounter a brand new, fired up, can’t stop smiling, toe-tapping, evangelizing, fresh-outta-the-box recipient of God’s grace.  Its a glance that says, “They’ll learn. They’ll grow out of it. Let’s just love them through this giddy schoolgirl phase.”  And all as if we should be wanting that zeal to die down so that those new babes in Christ don’t cause a scene and get all “crazy”.  Or worse yet: make us look like we don’t really love Jesus enough.

And I’m not even just talking about one particular age group.  I’ve seen teenagers in one context go absolutely nuts in a worship service; screaming, dancing, clapping, jumping, shouting, crying.  And then when in another context those same teens are barely a notch above comatose, apparently without any fervor at all.

On a Sunday morning several months ago, one of our seniors in high school was helping to lead worship singing during one of our student services.  As we sang a song that previously evoked a “conga line” while we were away on a mission trip earlier that month, she decided that she was going to start dancing laps around the room, in hopes that others would join in the celebration of the God we were singing to and about.

They didn’t.  No one joined her.  They all simply stared at her, giggled and glanced at each other as she circled the crowd several times before the end of the song.

But here’s the thing: to most students in the room it seemed awkward and embarassing to do something so undignified (even while singing David Crowder’s song “Undignified”!).  But to her, it was an opportunity to express her passion for Christ and to invite others to do the same.  The fact that no one did that morning had no bearing on her whatsoever.  In fact, at the end of the song she took a moment and gave an impromptu explanation of King David’s attitude and how while people thought he should behave in a way a bit more fitting for a king, the king just wanted to dance and his feet would not be still.

So, why is it that when we are first introduced to Jesus and are ushered into the family of God there is elation, but the longer we stay in the family of God, there is deflation?  Why are the most energized followers of Christ almost always the ones who just met Him and who know the least about Him?  Why is it that our unashamed abandon gives way to unambitious apathy?

I believe there are lots of possible explanations (none of them really valid), but I’d like to throw one out there and call it our fascination with sophistication.  Wherever we go, we like to look like we’ve got it together.  And breaking free of decorum in any context is just…well…uncivilized.  What would people think of us if while singing the words “When the world has seen the light, they will dance with joy like we’re dancing now…” and we actually DANCED?  But there it is.  There’s the problem.  We’re wrapped up in our own view, and in others’ view of us and we’re dismissive of God’s view, God’s desire, God’s worthiness, God’s presence, God’s invitation, and God’s freedom.

We’re fickle followers.  Our follow-through in following Him is often hinged on our mood.  Its often an egocentric roller coaster built of the flimsiness of our current circumstance rather than on the fact that right now while you’re reading this, angels and creatures surround the throne of God and cry out to one another and to Him, “Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty!  He was, He is, and He is to come!”Image

We’re pridefully forgetful. We walk further and further from the cross as we live our daily lives and consequently forget what happened there, what it means to humanity, and how it supposed to be changing us day by day.

But this isn’t about dancing, or shouting, or causing a scene.  Its about Jesus.  Everything is.  God’s Word tells us that it is from Him all things have come and it is to Him all things will return. (Romans 11:36) Jesus Christ is the final word and will have the final say to this thing we call time and space.  Deny it, scoff it, ignore it, dismiss it, or believe it. And if we believe it, then for cryin’ out loud let’s not just smile at the zealous, the newborn in Christ, the passionate, undignified followers of Jesus.  Let’s return to that place.  Let’s grow our love and surrender to Jesus Christ into a stupid, scene-causing, let-er-rip, dancefest of joy over our redemption and our Redeemer!

I’m stopping here, but let me leave you with what I think is a near-perfect marriage of yesterday’s hymnal theology and today’s outright silliness that ensues when we stop caring about what other humans think of how we love Jesus….Ladies and Gents, I give you “I Saw The Light!”

How 3 Drunks Helped Me and Can Help You Too.

It’s been over 2 months since I’ve written last.  During that time I’ve been on 4 pretty substantial journeys; one with our student leadership team, one with 115 others on our middle school mission trip, one with an amazing group of high schoolers, and one on vacation with my favorite 5 people on earth…in that order.

There simply is no way to capture and convey the incredible things that I experienced during these past 2 months.  They’ve been filled with the pleasure of watching God do above and way beyond my expectations.  Its hard to believe–even now–that those 4 trips (especially the first 3) are behind me.  That’s because for the past year or more these 4 experiences have been like islands on the distant horizon.  And now they’re all behind me.

I’ve thought thoughts, I’ve had conversations, I’ve witnessed unforgettable things. And I’ve blogged about none of it.  Despite my best intentions, I’ve not even been able to stop and record any of it for you, my readers. I would apologize, but I tend to over-apologize for not writing and for better or worse, not being able to write has just been my reality this summer.  As they say: “It is what it is.”

But I do want to share a recent experience with you.  It was actually the MOST recent memorable thing I experienced while on vacation.

It was our final night on the road and we had stopped in Goldsboro, NC to visit my parents. My mom had just had knee replacement surgery (pray for her recovery, if you would) and I wanted to stop in if even for a brief visit.  We booked a room at a hotel in town that will remain nameless, but it starts with an H and ends with an Ampton Inn.  We had gotten settled in for the evening and it was a few minutes before 10 p.m. when all 6 of us were drifting off to sleep.  It didn’t take long at all before we were all in Lah-lah Land, worn out from our drive that started that morning in central Florida.

I was awakened by voices at 2:15 a.m.  They seemed to be coming from outside our second floor window. I got up, tiptoed to the window and peeked out to see 3 people sitting at a table next to the hotel pool.  Despite the fact that it was quite literally the middle of the night, these three were oblivious and their volume was anything but quiet.  Slightly in shock at the disregard to people like me who come to a hotel to  actually sleep, I slipped back into bed hoping they’d soon be on their way.

I gave them 15 minutes or so and then got up again.  Careful not to wake my family, I picked up my cell phone from the table, slipped into the bathroom, and called the hotel front desk.  I was greeted merrily by “Josh”.

“Uh, yeah. Hi Josh. I’m a guest at your hotel and I’m just calling to tell you that there are 3 people out by your pool who are talking very loudly, and they’re keeping me awake.”

Josh responded, “Yes sir, thank you for letting me know. I’ll take care of it immediately.”  *click*

Feeling pretty proud that I took care of business (or rather, asked Josh to), I started to get back in bed but before  my head touched the pillow, I thought,  “Oh wait, I wanna see the vigilante justice carried out!”  So I got up, hurried over to the window, and peered out waiting for Josh or someone large to give those hooligans the riot act for daring to bother the guests in room 218.

And I waited.  And waited.  And……nothing.  No Josh. No vigilantes. No bloodshed.  Nothing but a huge let-down.

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Ironically, I found these in my hotel bathroom the next morning.

As I stood there with what I’m sure was a wide-open mouth, I watched in shocked horror as the threesome not only didn’t quiet down and didn’t scram, but they then proceeded to push away from their beer bottle-riddled table, disrobe, and jump into the pool!  They quickly found a beach ball and began swatting it around to each other.  Have you ever heard a beach ball being slapped at 3 a.m.?!?  It’s obnoxious!

I simply couldn’t believe what I was seeing.  I mean this almost topped a previous hotel stay debacle from years ago; the one that will forever live in infamy as “The night we met the MMA industry”.

Defeated by three inebriated individuals, I got back in bed.  Have you ever planned a speech in your head? A speech you imagined giving to a certain someone whereby the longer you talked the smaller they became?  My “someone” was Josh and the three half-naked beach ballers and by the end of my imaginary speech, they were the size of fleas.  Have you ever daydreamed your vindicating speech and then went a step further and through the wonders of imagination shaped the entire guest care policy of an international hotel chain?  Nah, me neither.  But I did think of what this hotel’s mission statement might be, if they even had one, and how they had failed to live up to it as evidenced by me being awakened by the three long-necked losers outside my second floor window.  I was indignant.  Mortified.  Boiling over with….zzzzzzz. (I fell asleep mid-boil.)

In the morning, I woke up to my alarm and my first order of business was to check the window. Had it all been a dream? Had I not really changed the complexion of the guest care policy of an international hotel chain?  I looked down to that same poolside table and saw a lone, empty long-neck beer bottle.

On my way down to breakfast, I stopped by the only door that led out to the hotel pool.  Clearly stated on the wall next to the door I saw a sign that said in no uncertain terms:  “POOL HOURS: 10 A.M. TO 10 P.M.”  And despite my best squinting, I saw no fine print that said, “Unless you want to swim half-drunk at 3 a.m. In that case, go right ahead. Oh and by the way, there’s a beach ball out there too. Be sure to swat that around in your drunken stupor.”

Here’s a mission statement I’d like to suggest to the Goldsboro, NC Hampton Inn and really to any hotel that exists anywhere: “Our mission as a hotel is to provide and protect a pleasant and restful stay for all of our guests.”  If only that hotel had that as their mission, and if only they carried it out, I would have nothing to write about after staying the night there.

A sense of mission keeps us looking at what’s most important.  Because God knows there are tons of distractions in this life.  Some people mistake them for life and death issues, but they’re not. What is your mission? What is your purpose? What are you on this planet for? I’d dare you to unearth it, declare it, and live it.  It will not merely make the difference in YOUR life, but also that of your marriage, family, business, ministry, or organization.  Begin with “I exist to…”  You and I both know that its tempting to go shallow as we answer that, but we also know when we’re living shallow lives.  Deep down we know there’s more than what we’ve settled for.

So, as it turns out, if that hotel had stuck to their mission and their purpose for existing; if they had declared it and lived it I would not have anything to talk about.  But they didn’t and I hope we’ll use it as an opportunity to recenter ourselves on our mission.

Closer To The Hole.

This is James Hines, age 61. He recently drove his golf cart into a group of younger, slower golfers and bashed one of them in the head with a golf club. All because they consistently slowed up his round of golf.

My guess? James needs to lighten up.

I grew up in a golfer’s house.  My dad to this day would gladly trade any other human activity for a bad round of golf.  And as a dutiful golfing father, he has passed on a knowledge and dare I even say an enjoyment of the sport of golf.  And today I can openly admit:

“Hi. My name is Jerry. I have a set of clubs in my shed.”

But the downside of playing golf with someone who loves golf is that they love to play golf well. And expect to.  On every stroke.  And when they don’t….oh boy.  Look out, because “Hell hath no fury like a serious golfer who tops the ball.”  I always loved playing golf with my dad, but the enjoyment factor went up 10-fold when we made this decision: We weren’t going to keep score anymore.  After we made that switch, we had just one criteria for defining a good shot: “Closer to the hole.”

Life in ministry is jam-packed with pars, birdies, and even eagles.  But its also filled with gaffs, mulligans, and do-overs, not to mention the occasional club wrapped around the nearest proverbial tree trunk.  In the midst of seeking out what it means to be a part of a “successful” ministry/career/endeavor/project, I’d suggest that you simply ask yourself, “Am I closer to the hole?”  Have you done something–anything–that has moved you closer to the goal?  And let me qualify “anything”.  It means “anything“.  That includes: thought, dream, plan, brainstorm, prayer, calls, connections, or anything else to inch the ball along.  Far too often I can allow the inevitable reality of an “off” day to skew my overall vision of the effectiveness and impact of the overall mission.

Another great idiom we adopted was that every hole was the first hole.  We’d have to forget both the sweet shots and the drink-sinkers of the last hole and start fresh with the shot in front of us.  Otherwise we’d rely too heavily on the past, and that would always negatively affect the present.

So, James Hines needs to lighten up.  Do you?

How do you define success in the field you’re in; be it a ministry field, a career field, or a mission field?  I’d love to hear from you in the comments section!

By the way, my Dad is not only a great golfer, but a phenomenal pastor, preacher, and writer.  You can check out his blog by using the link to the right called “Gleanings from the Word of God”.