As you likely know, and if you don’t know I’m telling you now, I’m a guy who’s seeking to follow Jesus. That means that every day my mind, thoughts, mental health, priorities, decisions, views on problems, communication, relationships, and anything else you can think of are what I endeavor to surrender to His Lordship. To “follow” Jesus means that where He’s going I’m going. I don’t direct. I don’t even decide direction. He moves. I move. He stops. I stop. It’s love received and expressed through life in lockstep with the Divine.

As a follower of Jesus, there’s sometimes a blurry line that seems to exist when it comes to what I should tolerate and not tolerate as I dole out love, grace, energy, etc. It’s a tension I live in. On the one hand, I’m called to model Christ in every interaction, conversation, and decision. On the other hand, there are instances where it feels like the energy being spent isn’t being spent wisely. In Matthew 7:6, Jesus warned His followers against “casting pearls before swine (pigs)” and that’s what my mind is grappling with today.

Spoiler Alert: There isn’t a tidy resolution to this at this moment. Maybe I might inch closer to something that looks like a helpful blog post as I process through this while typing, but at this moment (and in this crowded O’Hare Airport I’m currently in), there may not be much headway made. But you’re welcome to join me as I “cerebrally meander” through my current thoughts and my emerging thoughts. But again…no guarantees.

I’m going to start wide. Really wide. I chose to follow Jesus in my teens. Just before my senior year of high school. Shout out to all my fellow alum of Lower Cape May Regional High School. Go Caper Tigers.

When I chose to make that decision to follow Jesus, it came with a wholesale surrender to wherever He’s leading, whatever He’s saying, whoever He’s serving, and whatever He’s doing. I pushed the pile of poo that was life-done-my-way across the table and said to Jesus, “Here. Good luck.” At that moment, I became an investor. Not the Wall Street kind. The eternal kind. God helping me, I’ve been an investor in people ever since. And when I say “people,” I mean whoever. Wherever. Whenever. However. I literally don’t care who you are, what you’ve done, what you look like, what you believe, or any other details of your life. My agreement to follow Jesus WAS SIMULTANEOUSLY an agreement to serve you and everyone.

By the way, fellow follower of Jesus, whether you know it or not, you agreed to the same thing. The apostle Paul calls it our “spiritual act of worship” and essentially tells us it’s the very least we can do. (Read Romans chapter 12 for more.)

So what do you do when you’re investing in something and don’t see the ROI you anticipated? This might seem to some to be an offensive question in the context of Christian living. But let me dig in here and see where it leads. *Remember my non-guarantee.*

I’ve already mentioned Jesus’ words about the pearls and the pigs. So there’s that. Seems clear that He was warning against wasting time and energy; at some point it just becomes counterproductive.

I think we can also point to several instances when Jesus kind of reached a point where He was unwilling to continue to do something, or became exasperated (seemingly), or otherwise continued on His journey having left behind work undone. As a human, Jesus was subject to the same 24 hours in a day that you and I are subject to. Imagine that for a second. The One who created light and dark, day and night being willing to be confined by time and space.

Jesus clearly operated on mission. And living on mission by definition is to live a focused life. So when people or situations arose that hindered that mission, Jesus identified it and moved on. (Remember when Peter would say stuff that would hinder Jesus’ mission and Jesus called him “Satan”?) Yep, it’s clear that Jesus stayed on mission and didn’t let anyone pull Him off course.

I wonder what leeway we have as His followers to do the same? Can we rightly be justified in looking at a relationship or situation and making the calculated decision that any more time and energy spent there is going to be time wasted? That’s hard to type, and difficult to think because it feels awfully close to (or exactly like) the sentiment that there may be some people who simply become “not worth it” in regards to our time and energy. And that feels unloving.

Besides, who are we to assume God’s timing? The same Paul I mentioned earlier also said that “…one plants, another waters, but God gives the increase.” (1 Cor. 3:6) So maybe the ROI isn’t any of my business as an investor. Maybe I just keep investing and leave the rest up to the CIO. (By the way did you know that in an investment firm, the Account Manager is sometimes called a “Relationship Manager”? Man, there’s some good stuff to pull from that! Better save that for another blog post.)

I can tell you without flinching that I have absolutely experienced times in my life when it truly felt like the time and energy being spent simply wasn’t worth it. I don’t mean that the person I was seeking to invest in wasn’t worth it. It just became clear that I was not going to be the one to make headway in any meaningful way. So I decided to simply move on. No malice, nothing but love; I just realized that I was spinning my wheels and it simply felt…well…wasteful.

So the tension I live in is between wanting to never ever stop, never give up as I seek to invest in people…and the very real truth that there’ll always be instances and examples of that feeling that for whatever reason, it just isn’t happening.

As I walk this road following Jesus, I’m promised His own Spirit living within me. And it is by His Spirit that I may discern when its time to go, stop, speak, and shut up. I’m so thankful for that.

Okay, so what are your thoughts on any of this? Comment below and add to the conversation. I’d love to know what you think, even if your thoughts collide with mine. Like I said, this is an ongoing grappling that I’m involved in.