It’s human nature, I’d suppose, to become more introspective as you get older. An infant/toddler is completely unaware of most everything except what’s in their hand or mouth. A teenager is consumed by the influencing input of the world around them and finding their place in all of it. A young(er) adult is looking for meaning and purpose not so much because of some innate understanding but because the message has been that there’s a purpose to be found. And the old(er) adult has more in the rearview than through the windshield, so they spend more time taking stock of what it all has meant and the ways it has shaped them.
This is over-generalized, I’m sure, but the truth is in there, nonetheless.
Within the past several weeks, I’ve witnessed the passing of someone very young, at the very start of their adult life, and someone at the very end of their long, rich, and storied life. Solomon tells us in Ecclesiastes that we should spend more time at funerals than at parties, because everyone dies, so the living should take it to heart. (Ecc. 7:2)
In other words, it’s more important to know that time is limited than it is to know what time it is. Thinking about how much time is left is futile and wasteful. Being mindful that time is a mere construct in which we gather stories and experiences and impact those we intersect with–that’s the better route.
So how? How do we?
While the passage of time affords most people the ability to zoom out, look back, and take stock there has got to be a shortcut to offer to those who statistically have more ahead than behind. And that’s what I’m after in writing these words.
First, I suggest to you that the metrics the world uses to measure worth are diabolically unhealthy. The heart of it is getting. Get the look. Get the girl. Get the guy. Get the job. Get the money. Get the gains. Get the grade. Get the client. Get the followers. Get the story. Get the experience. Get the house. Get the car. Get the spouse. Get the kids. Get the lake home. Get the stock options. Get the comfort. Get the bigger piece of the pie. Get first.
It’s no wonder we’re exhausted, stressed, cutthroat, suspicious of others, and overworked to name a few.
So, how DO we be? Someone once said it’s no accident that we’re called human beings, not human doings. We are hardwired for relational existence, and when that aspect is absent, dysfunctional, or in any way out of whack, so are we.
What if it were possible to early on introduce the discipline of relational pulse-checking as a way of calibrating one’s compass? This most certainly could happen accidentally, but could we teach the skill of gauging relational health and making adjustments to those findings in a way that is akin to aligning the steering on one’s car?
Could the young brain steering that young life engage in such a disciplinary exercise? Let’s suppose it could.
What might happen is this…
- A person could be relieved of finding that life has mostly passed them by before they notice and try to compensate for opportunities that were lost while they were distracted by lesser pursuits.
- A person could embrace an entirely different metric than pop culture embraces. They could be released from the “Get” metric. I’d bet that nothing but good can come from such a release.
- A person could experience a far deeper wealth of purpose-infused relational living. That person could walk life’s path not seeing others as obstacles but as opportunities for growth and service.
Structure and strategy in order to accomplish personal goals are noble and good and right. But I’d suggest that structure and strategy in order to attain a life that is better focused on relational depth, experiences that enrich others’ lives, and that is centered on giving over getting is the far better path.
This is an unfinished blog post. It’s barely the beginning of a germinated thought. So please add to it. Share with me–regardless of your age–your thoughts on how we gauge things like worth, direction, relationships, and how to know if our lives are where we desire them to be or not.
jerrythinks. 