Today in a spiritual exercise with a small crowd of others, we listened to Acts 10:9-17. We were instructed to listen as it was read to us and even encouraged to close our eyes if we chose to. As it was read, we were instructed to listen for God’s Spirit speaking to us about a particular word or phrase. This is part of the spiritual practice of “Lectio Divina”, something I have been through before, but it has been quite a long time.

As I listened quietly, calmly, and intently to the passage being read, God’s Spirit did in fact speak to me about a particular pair of words. Before I get to them, let me share the passage with you in its entirety. Read this through twice.

⁹ About noon the following day as they were on their journey and approaching the city, Peter went up on the roof to pray. ¹⁰ He became hungry and wanted something to eat, and while the meal was being prepared, he fell into a trance.¹¹ He saw heaven opened and something like a large sheet being let down to earth by its four corners. ¹² It contained all kinds of four-footed animals, as well as reptiles and birds. ¹³ Then a voice told him, “Get up, Peter. Kill and eat.” ¹⁴ “Surely not, Lord!” Peter replied. “I have never eaten anything impure or unclean.” ¹⁵ The voice spoke to him a second time, “Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.” ¹⁶ This happened three times, and immediately the sheet was taken back to heaven. ¹⁷ While Peter was wondering about the meaning of the vision, the men sent by Cornelius found out where Simon’s house was and stopped at the gate.

Were there any words that glimmered for you? Was there anything that caught your attention or pricked your heart? Think about that word or phrase for a moment. Mediate on it quietly, asking God’s Spirit to speak to you as you listen quietly.

The two words that my mind got stuck on were “made clean”. Peter was essentially arguing with God and refusing to call clean what God had clearly given him. From a religious and traditional standpoint, the things contained in the vision were not clean, even though they were clearly being delivered and offered to Peter straight from God.

These two words speak to the completeness I have in Christ and because of what Jesus has done. Jesus has made me clean. Not only that, but He has qualified me to serve in His Kingdom. This is not a statement of arrogance or pride; quite the opposite. I know I am unworthy of His affection and approval. But because of Jesus’ death and resurrection, I am made clean. I am made whole. I am made fit for service.

I’ve been serving young people and their families in a full-time pastoral capacity since 1995. Even after nearly 3 decades of loving and leading the younger generation(s), I still wrestle with my own worthiness. I still have what some call “imposter syndrome”. I still wonder what I have to offer.

At the age of 16, I pushed the pile of mess that was my life across the table to Jesus and said, “Here. You can have it. If you can’t make anything of it, go ahead.” In that moment of surrender, Jesus took my meager offer and embraced me as His own. He took what I put before Him and ever since then has been working, tinkering, tweaking, adjusting, and transforming me day by day.

I hope that there’s something here that’s encouraging or at least thought-provoking to you. If there’s anything you’d be willing to share, I’d love to hear it. Put it below in the comments.

*If you know me, you know I process through doodling. Above is a doodle from today’s Lectio Divina.