“You’re one of the most patient people I’ve ever met.”

It seems to me that I’ve heard that countless times over the years. It’s often in the context of people seeing my interactions with young people and how I love and lead them, or how others have seen me teaching in the classroom. Depending on who’s making the comment, they seem to be astonished as they observe me doing what I do. To me, it doesn’t register as patience simply because my patience isn’t even being tried.

But this has got me thinking about the whole issue of patience, what it is, how you get it, and how it grows in who and why. I’ve heard people jokingly say, “Don’t ever pray for patience!”, citing that God won’t just give it to you, He’ll instead give you difficult situations that demand it, and thus grow it in you. Seems kind of cruel, if you ask me.

It might seem that some people (including myself) are simply predisposed to seeming more patient by nature. Whether that’s actually true or not I’m not sure. I don’t think it is. The whole concept of patience, I think, is largely miscategorized. I don’t see patience as something I muster or manufacture. Patience is a byproduct of a healthy outlook. When we see people as we should, patience flows more naturally. It’s when our view of others gets skewed that we begin to lose what we call patience. Imagine with me for a second if patience were a result of something rather than the thing that must be somehow summoned within you as you face adversity. Would that change your daily existence in any way? That neighbor, coworker, child, sibling, boss, or even spouse; imagine if patience for them wasn’t something you had to produce, but rather something that was already produced and ready when it’s needed?

I’ve got to downshift here for a second and address anyone who’s reading these words who is NOT in a love relationship with Jesus.

And let me clarify what I mean by that…

I’m not talking about being a church-goer. Church-goers aren’t guaranteed anything from God. Likewise, if you claim Jesus but neglect His Church, don’t expect anything from God either.

I’m not talking about just being a “spiritual” person. Spirituality will get you nowhere without a personal relationship with God through Jesus. For example, “Nature is my sanctuary” is a spiritual yet ridiculous statement when it comes to the salvation of your soul.

I’m not talking about those who have some version of faith in God that they claim but there’s virtually no difference between you and the world around you. Jesus said clearly that there’s coming a day when he will “spit you out of my mouth”.

I’m not talking about people who claim one thing but live another. Your so-called faith is nothing more than self-help, self-soothing, and even self-righteousness pretending to be something good. But you’ll find it’s going to get you nowhere but eternal separation from God’s presence.

Now, if you’re any or all of those things, but you’d honestly say you DON’T have a relationship with Jesus that is authentic, vibrant, and alive daily then I want to invite you to take a moment right now, right here on my blog site, and make the most profound and lifechanging decision any human can make. I want to invite you to put your faith in the grace Jesus showed clearly on the cross where He paid for and died for your sins. Then three days rose again, offering you His power over death so that you can live eternally with Him. This resurrection event is perhaps the most verified and historically validated event in human history. When you place your faith in Jesus to forgive you, you’re not wishing on a star, you’re putting your life in the hands of the only living God. There’s no magic words or prayer, but if you need help you can use these words as a starting point:

“Jesus, I want to thank you for loving me and taking my place on the cross. I want to confess to you that I’m a broken, dysfunctional, and helpless sinner. I confess my sins to you now and my need of a Savior. Thank you for being my Savior. I’m asking you by faith right now to forgive me of my sins and make me a new creation. Thank you for rising from the dead so that I can have eternal life starting today and lasting forever with you. Confirm in my heart, spirit, and mind that I am yours. I love you because you first loved me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

The first thing I’d like you to do as a new child of God and a part of His family is to share this news with someone in your life. I know that might be a scary thing, especially if you don’t know a lot of people who love and follow Jesus. I’d urge you to get into reading the Bible. Don’t start at the beginning. Read the book of Romans or read one or all of the four gospels (I’m partial to the book of John). I’d encourage you to find a church near you. Do some research and make sure that the local church you’re considering believes and teaches the Bible, believes that Jesus is the only way to have forgiveness of sins and that as Jesus’ followers, we are called to be transformed continually by the power of His own Holy Spirit working within us.

DO NOT become a part of any church that even hints at you needing to be a part of THAT church in order to be in God’s family or be saved.

DO NOT become a part of any church that adds requirements for salvation beyond placing your faith in Jesus for salvation.

DO NOT become a part of any church that doesn’t believe in one, triune God, the whole Bible as authoritative, and the call on Jesus’ followers to love God and love others with God’s love, carrying the gospel (“good news”) with them everywhere they go, and making disciples in the process.

DO NOT become a part of any church that doesn’t welcome everyone, regardless of who they are, who they love, what they believe, or what they look like. The fact is we’re all sinners in need of grace, and it’s only that grace that transforms us so regardless of the life someone may be living, God’s grace is enough to reach them, heal them, and redeem them. Let’s not forget that Jesus held up a notoriously sinful woman as an example and even said that wherever the gospel was preached, she should be mentioned (Matt. 26:13). Let’s not forget those who have been forgiven much are those who love much.

Okay, okay, back to patience. As you walk with Jesus step by step, patience is going to grow in your life. It’s not something you have to work on or practice at. The branch of an apple tree doesn’t have to produce apples. That’s not its first job. The branch’s job is to stay attached to the trunk of the tree. From that trunk and the root system, it receives all the nutrients it needs to produce apples. Jesus said, “Abide (stay) in Me, and you WILL bear much fruit. Apart from Me, you can do nothing.” (John 15) I did an exhaustive, deep-dive study into the original language on the word “nothing”. You wanna know what it means? Nothing.

What if patience grew in you like an apple grows on a healthy apple tree? What if patience (along with the other eight fruits of the Spirit guaranteed to us as we abide in Him) were simply a byproduct of a healthy, thriving, growing, authentic relationship with Jesus your Savior? What if instead of trying to cultivate patience in your life, you cultivated an intimate relationship with Jesus and let Him do the transformational work in you that He deems necessary? Does the world need more patience? Heck, yeah it does! But what it needs even more than that is people who understand that patience is a byproduct of a healthy love relationship with Jesus.

As always, I’d love to talk with you about this. Feel free to share your thoughts (even contrary thoughts!) in the comments below. If you’d rather reach out to me via text, my number is (804) 304-4669. I generally don’t answer calls from random numbers, so don’t bother calling without texting first.