I suspect that I might raise some eyebrows with this one.

I’m sitting in a small, local coffee shop that I love to frequent. The coffee is incredible and the baked goods are always delicious. About six feet away from me is a table of about 10 men that are obviously gathered around for some type of Bible study or devotional they’re doing together as they build community and relationships through accountability and mutual encouragement. Each of them is sharing their thoughts on whatever passage they’re reading from the Bible. It’s a nice scene and I’m glad to see spiritual things out in the open as part of the public conversation. Regardless of your spiritual convictions, I hope you at least can agree that we are not merely bones and organs encased in flesh, but that there is a spiritual dimension to us humans. We really are more than what we see.

I just heard one of them share four words I’ve heard countless times over my decades of walking with Jesus among others who are walking with Jesus. These four words especially surface when people are talking about their own understanding of the Christian’s mission on earth or even the purpose of corporate worship gatherings. The words are “It’s not about you.” It’s the Christian response to what seems like selfishness, or something we say when we’re inconvenienced, or something we remind ourselves (or the pastor reminds us) of when the church music isn’t just the way we like it, or when the sermon the pastor preaches seems to be more evangelistic than deep-discipleship focused. This mantra has been used to ward off what seems like misaligned opinions of everything from doctrine, to how we conduct ourselves among our neighbors, to what we do (or put up with) when we gather together for worship.

*A quick Google search of “It’s not about you” reveals humanity’s fixation with these four words in all kinds of contexts; even in corporate profits, in retail sales, and in self-help arenas. I’m not surprised at how we have built these four words into an industry of sorts.

But here’s the thing. I don’t think the sentiment “It’s not about you” is entirely biblical. Hear me out. Let’s bring it back to what might be considered the very centerpiece of the story the Bible tells: The cross of Jesus. Who was the cross for? YOU. You are the reason Jesus came to earth. YOU are the aim of God’s mission of redemption and salvation. YOU are the apple of His eye and the object of His affection. When Jesus was whipped, torn, pierced, bleeding, and hanging on the tree He had allowed Himself to be nailed to, it was YOU who was on His mind. This truth cannot be overstated. But I don’t think you’ve thought nearly enough about that reality. Jesus is the “darling of heaven”, but YOU are the darling of Jesus’ fiercely-focused love.

Do I think the cross and the work done there to save humanity is a license for us to build our lives looking out for ourselves and having some type of spiritualized ego that makes much of ourselves while neglecting others? Absolutely not. But I DO think that when you see, appreciate, embrace, and reconcile the fact that the cross of Christ was about YOU, then you are free to love people with a love that is in line with the eternal love we’ve been shown. We won’t and we can’t access that love unless we truly accept that the cross, the love shown through the sacrifice of Jesus there, IS about you.

Yes, I know the words of Jesus regarding losing yourself, self-denial, taking up your cross, and the words “I must decrease, He must increase” spoken by John in his gospel writing. Needless to say, there’s lots more on my mind about this and what this mindset leads to, but I’ll stop here. I’d love to hear your responses to these thoughts.