I’ll admit it. Sometimes I get so focused on what appears to be urgent that I neglect what’s actually important.

Believe it or not, I find this (and any) time at the keyboard of my blog to be a type of therapeutic exercise. The thoughts form as I think them. I usually do–like today–come in with some concept, but as I begin to type, more, new, different thoughts flow, and my fingertips turn into a spout of sorts, letting out what’s going on within.

Sounds a little like therapy, right? I’m grateful for opportunities to meet you, myself, and sometimes even God in these moments, simply typing.

What I’m NOT saying is that posting on this blog is what’s important in my life, let alone the MOST important thing I could be doing. (A quick break to recognize my subscribers–Hi Mom! I’m so thankful for you!) But I do think it is a fairly accurate and good example of what gets neglected when the urgent notices pile up in my brain, on my desk, and on my calendar.

This morning, I sense God’s Spirit saying something to me that He has said many times before. Something I am still learning how to live out, and something that aligns with how God operates in my life. When I receive this message in my mind and allow it to creep the 12 inches to my heart, really good and healing things happen. God also uses His message to me as a clarion call; a type of caution flag that I’m getting dangerously close to the temptation of feeling overwhelmed with–well–life, and all the things that clamor for my attention, emotion, resolution, action, energy, and/or anxiety.

So today, I’m easing into the day with a bit more mindfulness that there is most assuredly a difference between urgent and important, even as urgent masquerades as important.

I’m not sure what triggered it, but last night I was reminded that I don’t think that I think like other people think. That’s a dumbly obvious statement anyway–I mean, who does? You’re you and I’m me and I don’t expect us to operate the same way. But there seems to be a piece of adulting that I feel I missed out on. There’s some ability, or insight, or know-how that those around me seem to swim in and carry out effortlessly, while I’m usually looking for some clue as to how they got there.

I know, I know. It sounds like I’m comparing myself to others and I’ve preached loud and long that the comparison game has no winners and never results in any good outcome. But still. I think this is related to the whole urgent/important thing.

I can’t (so I won’t) put a stiff finger on the issue. I think it’s a little too fluid and fluctuating to nail it down like that. I also know that the #1 step in solving a problem is to call it a problem. While some might say, “Of course it’s a problem! You’re not firing on all cylinders! Fix it immediately!”, I guess I’d rather bat it around a little first. What might be hastily labeled a problem might more accurately and helpfully be considered an intricacy or a nuance.

Some of what I’m referring to can be summed up in the word “process.” That is, how my brain (and yours) processes information, puts it in its proper place cerebrally, integrates it in a way that is useful/practical, and leverages it for future action.

In my imagination, I do this differently than you do. And that imagination also indicts my process as “lesser.” So get this: because I convince myself that my processor works differently than yours, my mind automatically assumes that it works worse than yours.

“Hello darkness, my old friend.”

So what I’m constantly doing is creating outside frameworks that supplement my thinking in order to prop up a sense of on-top-of-it-ness. In other words, my organizational approach to time, tasks, and thought is almost always undergoing renovation and improvement. Or maybe just renovation. Have you ever been in a renovation project that never seems to reach its conclusion?

I think maybe renovation isn’t the right word here. Maybe tinkering would be a better fit. The problem is that I’m a renovator. There is something within me, no matter what the context, that is always seeking improvement. In any room I walk into, my mind immediately reconfigures the furniture so as to reach a higher level of aesthetics and functionality. When I listen in on meetings and ideas being thrown around, I’m engaged in sculpting those thoughts so that they reach their highest caliber. Even when something is established, I’m constantly questioning how it can be even better.

So it exacerbates the levels of frustration when my brain, which seems so intent on improvements, can’t also seem to get a process that works in tandem and cooperation with how it naturally functions. Woe is me.

That’s why, I suppose, I’m always striving and yet never arriving. Even now, I’ve got this blog page on one screen and inches away on another screen is a “project_task_tracker”; my latest iterative attempt at thinking, sorting, and executing…thinking, sorting, and executing…thinking, sorting….

You get it. (Or at least my brain is hopeful that at least one person can sympathize with some shred of something here.)

Okay, so back to the title of this particular blog post. What happens to me when I’m unable to effectively sort and execute is that the urgent presses in and convinces me it’s the important. So, what I’m seeking through organic and organized thought and processing is freedom from that press.

So, with today’s therapeutic typing session coming to a close, I’ll head back into the fray. I’ll continue to think, wonder, imagine, dream, question… then, with any available answers, I’ll start to shape thoughts, identify obstacles, exploit opportunities… then with those options, I’ll choose what becomes a decision, a plan, and a path for today. Then I’ll do it again tomorrow.

See you then.

So, I went back and read my blog (as is my habit before clicking “Publish.”)…

The fact that, as a pastor, I didn’t include even one chapter and verse from scripture might seem to some as a big miss. So my mind went right to imagining who might be disappointed in my ommision of God’s Word in this post. Insecurity and inferiority creep in so easily sometimes. But rest assured, dear readers, that God is near and He is speaking, and I am attuned to His voice. I know what His Word has said and is saying today.

Related to that, I will also exclaim that Jesus Christ, God incarnate, is the only solid ground this feeble mind has found. So I offer that to you as a testimony. If you haven’t found that to be true, may I invite you to try Him? Taste and see that the Lord is good.

Also, in case you tripped over my use of “dumbly”, I humbly submit…